


New Girl

by EveryDayBella, LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-01-06 11:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryDayBella/pseuds/EveryDayBella, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living with three guys was never going to be without drama. Jasper and Emmett were easy, but Edward was a little harder to enjoy. Bella guessed he was hiding a secret behind that abrasive exterior, but then again, so was she. A collab with EveryDayBella.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

**Kris’s A/N: Okay, so… Bella is a bad influence (Everydaybella, not Bella Bella). I can never let these plot bunnies go when she’s there to write half the story. You know the drill. Small updates (1-2k). She’s Bella (heheheh), I’m Edward, and this is what happens when we watch New Girl. Plot bunnies.**

 

**EDB's AN: I think that is the first time I was one called the "bad influence." LOL It's just such a great idea, how could you not want to give it a wirl? To be fair Kris, this is what happens when we wach anything. Plot Bunnies.**

 

**Kris’s other A/N: A point. You  has it. ANYWAY. This is inspired by the PREMISE of New Girl, but don’t expect to see the plot point for point. Enjoy!**

 

**Disclaimer: Neither of us is SM… I think.. Bella might be. I’ve never seen her… Hmmmmm.**

 

**EDB: (BAHAHAHA you so silly Kris.)**

* * *

  
**~Bella~**  

“Ok, so, this is gonna sound kinda crazy, but I was raised to be honest, so here we go.”

 

I think the three of them were in shock. That was probably going to get worse. I swear I don’t plan these things, they just happen. Story of my life.

 

“So, I’ve been living with my friend, Charlotte, for years, but she’s getting married so I have to find my own place. She mentioned that Jasper was looking for a roommate, but I swear I didn’t know you were all guys. Not that I mind or anything. I just know it may be awkward for you and I don’t want it to be that way.”

 

Shut up, Bella, shut up. Way to make a great first impression, let my word vomit take over. As if I didn’t look enough like a freak with my bright blue hair and inability to sit still. I might have been compared to a chihuahua once. Okay it was twice.

 

“My hair’s not normally blue,” I muttered, the silence making me even more nervous. “I made a bet with my kids that if they could all pass their tests, I would dye my hair. Needless to say, they did.”

 

“You have kids?” the tall blond finally asked. Jasper and I had met before. He was a friend of Charlotte’s fiance, Peter. I didn’t know him very well, but he was a good guy. Still, I doubted he wanted to see a kid ruining his home.

 

“No. I teach second grade. I promiseno kids coming home or anything.”

 

See, this was why I had lived with friends my whole life. Meeting people you might end up living with and didn’t know from Adam is just awkward. You need to seem normal and presentable, but at the same time, it didn’t seem fair to not let them know about how incredibly odd you are.

 

“Do you have loud sex at inappropriate times, because that’s my thing, and I don’t really want to give it up.” This was the big guy, Emmett, if I remembered correctly. If it weren’t for his sparkling brown eyes, I might have been a little afraid of him. He was huge.

 

I blushed. “Ah, no, no loud sex. Is that a deal breaker?”

 

Emmett shrugged. “Naw, it’s cool. Just fair warning.”

 

“Right. Gotcha.” Only one of them hadn’t spoken yetand he was the one I was most nervous about. In the middle sat Edward Cullen. There was a striking amount of sadness in his eyes. The beautiful green orbs were jaded and irresistible. I could already tell he covered his sadness by being grumpy. His arms were crossed over his chest, and a frown sat permanently on his face. His expression was somewhere between pissed and bored. I found myself wanting to make him laugh just once.

 

“We’re not seriously considering this, are we?” Admittedly, not great first words from him. “Can you imagine her living with us? I’d have to share the downstairs bathroom for god’s sake.”

 

“Edward, knowing your habits that might be a good thing. Have you looked in there lately? It’s a mess.” Jasper’s words didn’t instill any courage in me.

 

Edward shrugged. Apparently this was a normal discussion. “It’s perfectly useable. Besides do you wanna give up your video games for chick flicks?”

 

“Well, no, but…”

 

“And Emmett, do you wanna give up farting?”

 

“I can’t give up farting!”

 

“Well, if you let her move in, it’s gonna happen. That’s what happens when you live with girls.”

 

“Um, excuse me?” I tried to fight it, but I was kinda pissed. I could understand that, for some reason, he was sad and grumpy, but that didn’t mean he got to take it out on a me, a woman he had never even met. “This girl has a name, and it’s Bella. As for all that, well... I’m not a clean freak myself so that’s not so bad. I have my own TV, so if I want to watch chick flicks I can do it in my room, and I don’t mind farting. I work with seven and eight year old boys. I can handle it.”

 

Emmett began cackling. “Oh, she got you, Eddie. I like her.”

 

Jasper’s grey eyes were sparkling with excitement. “She’s got a point, and we seriously need a roommate.”

 

“Now, hold on.” Edward’s eyes got wider and wider. I wondered for a moment if he was scared or if he just didn’t like me for some reason. Maybe it was the blue hair? Or my glasses? They were kinda big, but I liked them. “We’re not this desperate yet, are we? I mean we don’t even know her.”

 

“The word you’re looking for is ‘Bella’. I am in the room, so the correct and polite noun is Bella.” What was his problem?

 

“She’s right, Edward. You’re being rude.” Jasper glared at his friend which only caused Edward to get grumpier. “I’ve met Bella a couple times, and she was great.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You are most welcome.”

 

“You’re laying it on a bit thick,” Edward mumbled.

 

“Okay, I do have a question though. Why move in with us?” Emmett sounded almost concerned for my sanity, which I was beginning to doubt now as well. “I mean, surely you’ve got other friends you can stay with.”

 

“Well, there’s Rose, but she lives with a bunch of other models, and I really don’t fit in there.” Yes, I was that desperate. I would rather live with three guys I didn’t know than with my best friend and her model roommates.

 

“Wait!” Emmett leaned forward to the edge of his seat, hanging on my every word. “Other models?”

 

“As in…” Jasper joined Emmett.

 

“Yeah, Rose is a model.”

 

Huh, what do you know, the magic words.

**~Edward~**

The minute the new girl was out the door, they started in on me.

 

“Dude, is it the sand?” Emmett asked.

 

“Is what the sand?”

 

“Is it the sand in your vagina that’s got you so pissy? I mean, that’s got to be uncomfortable. I guess I could excuse your being a dick for that.”

 

I crossed my arms and glared at my brother. “I’ll send her a gift basket. Can we move on?”

 

“I don’t know. There might be nothing to talk about. You probably scared the hell out of her,” Jasper said.

 

I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth, biting back another sarcastic response. I knew I was being an asshole, and the girl--Bella, whatever--didn’t deserve my bullshit. “What did you expect? You dropped this on me three minutes before she showed up, and you thought I was going to let it happen?”

 

“We’re getting behind on the rent.”

 

“I’m not debating that, Jazz. We need a roommate. I get it. I agree.”

 

“Just not her.”

 

“Not any her.”

 

Emmett huffed. “I know you just broke up with Alice--again-- but not every girl is as batshit insane as she is.

 

I flexed my fists at my side. They didn’t understand about Alice. They couldn’t. “Alice isn’t crazy.”

 

“Bro. She thought she knew the future.”

 

I wasn’t going to get into this argument. Not today. “That isn’t the point. You don’t need to have any special future-telling gift to see what’s going to happen here.”

 

“Enlighten us.”

 

I shook my finger in their direction. “One of you assholes is going to fuck her, and it’s going to end in drama.”

 

Jasper and Emmett both laughed. “Is that what your problem is?” my brother asked. “We’re all adults. This isn’t high school where everything is the end of the world. Who’s the drama queen now?”

 

“This is our home. You start something with this girl, you bring all that mess into our home. Alice may have been plenty of drama, but you never had to live with it.”

 

“Says you. We-” Emmett started, but Jasper cut him off.

 

“Whatever. Don’t start that again. I have an easy solution. Pact. Bella is off limits. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. We don’t need to fish in our own tank.”

 

“Why are you so set on her anyway?” I asked. I could already tell I was going to lose this fight. When Jasper was set on something, he had a habit of getting his way, even from me. That didn’t mean I had to be a good sport about it.

 

“Because she’s vetted. You want to talk about drama at home? We’ve all heard the bad roommate nightmares-- what can happen when you put an ad on Craigslist. Peter loves this girl, and you know what a bastard he can be about people. Charlotte says she’s dependable. I’ve liked her the few times I’ve hung out with her, and if you’d remove the gigantic stick from your ass, I’m sure you’d come to at least tolerate her.”

 

My teeth were gritted so hard, my jaw ached. “Fine. Whatever. But when it all ends in tears and screaming, I’m going to say I told you so.”

 

“Great,” Jasper said, ignoring the last bit as I knew he would. “I’ll call her.”

 

Emmett clapped my shoulder. “Cheer up. What’s the worst that can happen?”

 

**A/N: Hugs and love to Barburella and songster! Catch you next time.**


	2. Move In Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok, I am completely blown away by the reaction this story. Thank you everyone your reviews/follows/favorites. So excited you’re giving our little story a chance.
> 
> Just a quick word, our other story, LARP and the Real Edward, is nominated for completed fic of Dec. Kris’ story Dig is also nominated. So if you feel so inclined to vote for us twifanfictionrecs (dot) com / 2014 / 01 / 01 / vote-for-your-top-ten-completed-fics-december-2013 /
> 
> Now, on with the story!

"Oh, come on Rose. Why do you do this to me?"

 

I was trying to juggle two large boxes, a planter, and a phone to my ear. I had to then walk up the steps into the house and then to the other side of said house. My new room was in the back, which I didn't mind, but I would have liked to have carried a little less. But then I would have to come back out to get the other boxes in my car. Damn the unending Seattle rain.

 

Rose was going to help me move in until she got a last minute call for a shoot. I didn't mind of course, it was good for her, but I would have appreciated the help. Or was it support?

Needless to say, I had been surprised when Jasper called just an hour and a half after I left their house. I thought for sure that Edward would never let me move in. He had seemed pretty much against the idea. Jasper assured me that wasn't the case and they were looking forward to me moving in. To to say I was trepidatious about the idea was an understatement. I mean, I would share the floor with Edward, with Jasper and Emmett upstairs. I had no idea how this was going to work, but I was out of options, so of course, I said yes.

Now that I was back here though, my stomach was full of butterflies. Living with people I didn't know was completely new to me. It was one of the reasons I had called Rosalie. She was good at telling me what I needed to hear and not letting me ignore it.

 

"Don't whine, Bella." Rose's dry voice drifted to my ear as I struggled to get everything out of my car. "I'm sure you'll be fine. Just don't slouch."

 

"I don't slouch."

 

"You slouch. I've seen you do it. Stand up straight and hold your head back. You'll have them eating out of your hand in no time."

 

"I'm not hot like you , Rose."

 

"You are beautiful, Bella, and don't you forget it. You'll be fine. Just smile and be yourself."

 

"I’m weird."

 

"You're charming. Now go get them. I've got to go."

 

"No, wait, Rose!" I was on the doorstep, trying to unlock the door and I lost my grip on the phone. I reached out to catch it, and in the process, the boxes became unsteady. I could just see everything crashing to the ground and my phone bursting into a million pieces.

 

I gave a startled cry as the first box began to fall. It was too late to catch it as I already trying to grab my phone. Why did these things always happen to me? At the last second, something flashed out to steady my boxes while I only just managed to grab my phone. I looked back up to find Emmett smiling. "You okay there, Bella?"

 

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." I felt myself blush, which only made me ramble. "Trust me, if that's the most clumsy thing you ever see me do, I'll count myself lucky."

 

"Aw, you're one of those that can't walk across a flat surface." There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I'll make sure to pick up all the porn mags from the floor then. Can't have you tripping over them."

 

What was it Rose said? Stand up? "Porn mags? You still pay for porn?" Okay, not the best comeback ever.

 

Still, Emmett laughed. "I like you, Bella. Here let me help you with this stuff."

 

He took both boxes, and I opened the door. I was surprised to find the living room empty. I figured since it was the weekend, Jasper and Edward would be here playing video games or something. "Where is everyone?"

 

Emmett shrugged and carried my boxes toward the kitchen. "Jasper had to work this weekend. Something about Carmen and Eleazar having a date or whatever, so he's staying with the kids. Edward should be around here somewhere. You want something to drink?"

 

"Um, sure." I was not looking forward to unpacking, and this was only the first load. Any excuse to put it off would be used. I sat on the bar stool at the kitchen island and waited for Emmett to pull two bottles of water out of the refrigerator. "What does Jasper do anyway?"

 

"He's a nanny. Works with these two girls. It’s kinda cute really. Jasper seems to enjoy it."

 

"That's awesome. He's a manny." I could easily picture calm, cool, collected Jasper as a nanny. "How did he start doing that? I mean, it wasn't what he planned on doing, was it?"

 

Emmett shrugged. "Yeah, it happened by accident. He went to an office party of mine where my boss brought her kid because she didn't have a babysitter. Jasper ended up with the kid and realized he was good it. Then he found Carmen and Eleazar and started working for them. Gets paid a good bit for it too."

 

"That's kinda awesome. So, what do you do?"

 

"Oh, a boring office job. Sales. Trust me, you don't want to hear about it."

 

That was strange. Admittedly, this was only the second time that I had talked to Emmett but I got the enthusiastic vibe from him about everything. Why then was he so flippant about his job? "Okay, then what you really like to do?"

 

His brown eyes twinkled. "In college I played a little ball, but I was never very good at it. It takes a lot to admit, Bella, and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell our roommates that I said that."

 

"My lips are sealed. Go on."

 

"Okay, well, in my senior year I started working with the coaching staff. That was fun, and I enjoyed it. It was too late to change my degree though."

 

"You could go back? I mean, if you really enjoyed it, why not?"

 

Emmett shrugged. "Eh, it's not a big deal. I've got a boring job, but it pays the bills. Could be worse."

 

I was going to ask him another question when Edward came around the corner. He was speaking softly into his phone, hissing almost. I wondered briefly who he was talking to, but then realized it was none of my business. I don't think he even knew we were in the kitchen until his green eyes flashed up and landed on me. I wanted to believe I imagined the annoyance that entered his face briefly before he turned on his heel and walked away.

 

I heard Emmett sigh and felt my face turn red again.

 

"Emmett, can I ask you a question?"

 

"Shoot."

 

"Um, why does your brother not like me?"

 

Emmett sighed again and appeared to trying to choose his words. "Edward doesn't not like you. It's not my story to tell, but he's been through some shit. He doesn't like things changing. Just give him some time. He'll come around. I know it doesn't seem like it, but he really is a good guy."

 

I could believe him. Edward tried to hide it, but there was no disguising the sadness in his eyes. I knew better than anyone what sadness did a person.

 

"Okay, well, I've got two boxes to unpack, plus several more to come, so I should go get to work. Thanks for the drink."

 

"Anytime." Emmett smiled, the dimples in his cheeks becoming even more apparent. "If you need anything I'll be upstairs. Hollar."

 

"Thanks, Emmett." I grabbed my boxes and trudged off to my room. Work did a mind good, my father had always told me. Well, there was no time like the present.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hum, how very interesting. I wonder what that could mean. 
> 
> Have a wonderful New Year and enjoy your football or, if you are awesome like me, your hockey. Hehehe


	3. Indecent Exposure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay so, clarification. Bella is written by EveryDayBella. She’s the hockey nut. Kris abhors hockey. But EDB has a story with a hockeyward so maybe you hockey nuts outta check that out, eh?
> 
> Onward!

It was late when I walked in the door. Well, late for me. Since I was a bartender, my internal clock was screwy. It was only early afternoon, but because I hadn’t been to bed yet, I was screwed. I just wanted my bed and a few hours sleep.

 

I’d barely stepped a foot in the door when I found myself flying forward, my arms waving wildly. Faceplanting was just what I needed to make my day better. With a groan, I rolled onto my back and looked to see what I’d gotten my leg tangled in.

 

Bags. Two bags. I glared at them because they had been there in the foyer when I left the night before. Irritation creeped up my spine, and I gritted my teeth. I’d given the new girl the benefit of the doubt. When I saw the bags there last night, I hadn’t said a word. I was trying to be good--at least good enough for Emmett and Jasper to get off my back.

 

It wasn’t like we lived in pristine conditions. We were three guys, and none of us were neatniks, but we all seemed to have mastered the art of keeping our controlled chaos to our own rooms. Bella, apparently, was deficient in that department.

 

I climbed to my feet, still glaring at the bags as though I could get them to apologize. When they didn’t answer, I toed them, peering in at the contents. I wasn’t trying to snoop. Like I said, I was trying to be good, and I couldn’t go accusing the new girl of leaving her crap all over the place only to have it turn out to be one of the guy’s. Or if it was hers, it was just a good idea to know what was in it. What if she’d left something perishable like milk or something that would stink up the place. That would be just my luck.

 

The first bag held a few basics. Shampoo, conditioner, shaving gel. Definitely not Jasper or Emmett’s bag then. Even though I knew it was Bella’s now, I still looked in the second bag. I don’t know why. It seemed like the thing to do. I regretted it.

 

What was it about underwear that was so personal? It was just scraps of fabric. It wasn’t as though they were on her. And they weren’t particularly enticing as underwear went. Plain cotton in various colors and patterns. Nothing lacy or scandalous.

 

I liked simple.

 

But that was beside the point. The sight of them had me blushing like a schoolboy who found his first porno mag. That irritated me even more. Who left a bag full of panties out on the foyer?

 

In a huff, I grabbed up the bags and marched toward the hallway with intent. I’d leave the damn things outside her door. That wasn’t rude, right?

 

As I rounded the corner into the hallway, I ran into a solid body. Arms went flying. Bags went flying. Panties went flying. It all happened very fast. Bella, clad only in a towel, her hair hanging down soaking wet, bounced off me. Since the wood floor was wet from her hair, she slid. The towel fell. Reacting automatically, I reached out and pulled her toward me. We landed in a heap - a soaking wet, very naked girl and me amidst a pile of panties.

 

Yeah.

 

Bella sat up first, her hands on my chest instead of hers. “Um. I, uh,” she stumbled. “Good catch?”

 

Her breasts were glorious. Small and perky and-

 

What? They were right there and, like I said, glorious, and, “Can you please put those away? For fuck’s sake.”

 

Her expression was confused. She looked down at her breasts and gasped as if she’d just realized they were there. “Oh, shit.” She rolled away from him and grabbed at her discarded towel, pulling it up to her chest.

 

“What the hell are you doing wandering around here half-naked?” Yeah I was pissed. The towel she was carrying wasn’t covering nearly enough of her, and I was all wet and she was all wet and it was just a distracting situation and god dammit, I couldn’t get her perfect tits out of my head.

 

“I, um…” She got to her feet. “I was taking a shower, and-” She turned halfway around, gesturing back at the bathroom, and I cut her off.

 

“Whoa. Hey.” Yeah. Nice firm ass.

 

“Oh, God. I’m sorry.” She laughed nervously and adjusted the towel around herself more properly. “Christ, this is awkward, right? I mean,  you’ve seen my naughty bits. Maybe you should flash me yours.”

 

She was trying to joke with me. I knew she was, but fuck if that comment didn’t go straight to my dick. My mind was blank white.

 

Her grin fell. “Right. Okay. I’m picking the lukewarm vibe for your sense of humor so…” She cleared her throat. “Sorry. I didn’t think anyone was home. I left my stuff out-”

 

“Yeah. I noticed when I fell on my ass. It seems to be happening a lot today.”

 

She sighed. It was an exasperated sound. “Yeah, okay, bud, I get it. I suck.” She stooped to grab her shampoo and conditioner. “I’ll clean this all up in a minute.”

 

Before I could react, she’d whirled around and disappeared back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. I winced at the sound.

 

“Fuck.”

**~0~**

I had every intention of apologizing. I really did. It was just that immediately after our little spat, I decided I was too tired and cranky to think straight. What good would an apology do if I just fucked it up with my irritation?

 

So I went to sleep, and when I got up, Bella wasn’t there. And when I came home, Bella was asleep. And when I got up Bella wasn’t there, and so on and so forth until a week and a half had passed.

 

That, in and of itself, was odd. The first few days it was just happenstance and different schedules that kept us from running into each other, but after a week and a half? No. She was avoiding me, and who could blame her?

 

One night I got home later than usual from the bar. It had been a bad night. I was covered, covered, in booze and man-sweat from the guy who’d tried to pick a fight with me. My job wasn’t glamorous by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn’t usually too gruesome. A couple times a year maybe, some asshole would get, well, asshole-y and I ended up covered in something nasty.

 

Well, at least it wasn’t vomit this time.

 

I trudged to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I stripped out of every single article of clothing I had on, but before I got in the shower, I leaned on the counter. I was beat. It was that level of exhaustion where when you stopped moving for even a second, you had to convince yourself to start up again. I took a few deep breaths.

 

Before I could move, the door opened. “Oh God!”

 

I whirled around without thinking and found myself facing a wide-eyed, red-faced Bella. She jumped, and her eyes zeroed in low on my body.

 

You know, I had asked myself several times how she could have forogotten--for those first few seconds after we’d collided a week and a half ago--she was naked and not even bothered to try covering herself up. The answer was shock, because I didn’t try to cover myself up either. I just watched in horror as her eyes did this widening, narrowing, widening thing, and then…

 

She giggled.

 

Bella clapped a hand over her mouth to smother her laugh as she looked back up at my eyes and I snatched my shirt up off the ground to cover myself. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I-”

 

“Christ, do you do this shit on purpose?”

 

“Uh, uh… Well, goodnight.”

 

And then she was gone again, the door closing behind her.

 

“Fuck!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to barburella and songster!


	4. Antagonize Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kris’s A/N: I meant to tell you last time. I know this is listed as a drama, and it is. But ya know, also a little bit of comedy. It’s a … dramedy. Or something. A tee hee.
> 
> EDB’s A/N: Not the way I planned for this chapter to go. Hopefully it’s still enjoyable.

I swear I didn't plan these things. I know he accused me of it, but I didn't.

 

Bad enough he saw me naked. Bad enough he saw every pair of panties that I owned. Bad enough he thought I was a complete idiot. I just had to walk into the bathroom and see him naked.

 

Then I giggled.

 

I giggled.

 

I fucking giggled.

 

Why did I giggle!?

 

I just didn't expect it. I thought he wouldn't be home, or he would be in bed. I had done a good job of avoiding him. I had gotten the message loud and clear. He didn't like me. He wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't going to make him be around me. He had been here first, and so I just stayed away when I knew he was home.

 

_Good job, Bella. Try to avoid him and just walk in on him naked._

 

I softly hit my head against the back of my door. I couldn't stay in here forever. I’d already been locked in my room for eighteen hours. For one, I really had to go to the bathroom, and for another, I had run out of food in my room. Everything else I needed was in the kitchen, and it was Edward's day off. I really didn't want to run into him. I flirted with the idea of calling Emmett or Jasper and asking them to bring me some food, but then they would want to know what was going on.

 

I really, really didn't want Emmett to know what had happened.

 

I took a deep breath. I could do this. I may have been a coward, but I wasn’t going to be able to stay in here forever. I just had to be quick. It had been eighteen hours since the incident. Maybe he wouldn't mention it. Maybe we could move on with our lives.

 

I counted to three and cracked my door open. I may have been a coward, but who wouldn’t be in my situation? I lived with someone who didn’t like me and things have been so awkward. I heard noise coming from the living room, but there was no one in the hall. I darted out the door to the bathroom.

 

After that it was harder. I snuck around the corner to find Emmett and Jasper playing some video game. Edward was nowhere to be seen, so I stepped around and made an appearance.

 

"Bella!" Emmett cheered my arrival without looking away from the screen. "Where you been? I was wondering if you'd died in there."

 

"No. Still here. I think I'm a little under the weather though. Don't want to get anyone sick." I was a terrible liar, so I made sure not to look them in the eyes. "I'm just gonna grab something to eat and then go back to bed."

 

"You sure you’re okay?" Jasper took more care, pausing the game and looking up at me. I didn't like that. Jasper was perceptive. He would see through me. "You need anything?"

 

"No, I'm good. Don't want to get anyone else sick." I turned on my heel, headed for the kitchen, and buried myself in the cabinet. "What are you guys playing?"

 

"Call of Duty." Emmett turned the game back on.

 

“Oh.” I found a tv dinner, tossed it in the microwave, and wandered back out to watch Emmett and Jasper play. It was sort of interesting. I honestly had no idea what I was watching, but I was hypnotized by it.

 

I was shocked out of it when I heard the microwave timer go off. I spun on my heel to go get my food and ran into a wall of hard flesh. Fingers wrapped around elbows pulling me forward and keeping me on my feet and not my ass. It also kept me very close to a solid, warm body. His eyes were green and so close. Fucking hell. I would run into him.

 

He must have realized it at the same time that I did. A bolt of lightning shot through our connected skin. He released me, more in shock than anything I think, and I lost my footing. So much for not falling my ass. He huffed like he was disappointed and walked away like I had the plague.

 

"Oh, what the fuck now?" Emmett threw down his controler and turned to glare at the both of us. "Edward, get your dumb ass in here. We're dealing with this."

 

"What is your problem, Emmett?" Edward pouted like a put out child.

 

"Well, you've always been a grumpy old ass but this? You bumped into her and then you just walked away without another word? That's low man. Do you need help?"

 

I heard Edward sigh like he had been holding that breath since he had been born. "I'm fine, and it's none of your damn business."

 

"Fine, but we're still dealing with this. Tell Bella you're sorry."

 

"What! What the fuck for?"

 

"For being an insufferable dick."

 

I gigged. Damn it.

 

"Maybe I should take that as a comfort. It’s not just my dick you giggle at. You giggle at dicks in general, even the word dick." He was looking at me; his green eyes were furious.

 

"Or maybe I was remembering your dick again." Shit. Shouldn’t have said that. His cock was impressive. Damned impressive.

 

His eyes crinkled around the edges for a moment before disappearing. "Oh, really? I think maybe you have the maturity level of one of the kids in your class. Better figure that out or you are never going to get laid."

 

"I have had sex before you know."

 

"Why’s he not around? You give him a complex?"

 

"Well, I don't see how any woman could ever put up with your smug superiority!"

 

"Smug superiority? I'm the one with smug superiority, Ms. Bella I'm-an-eclectic-second-grade-teacher Swan?"

 

"What does that have to do with anything?"

 

"Whatever.” Edward fumed in silence before finding his next point. “At least I had the common courtesy not to giggle at your tits."

 

"Oh grow up! It's not that great of a dick. Just because some guys think a woman isn’t a woman unless she’s bursting out of her bra… Don’t put your self-consciousness about your dick on me."

 

There was a wicked spark in his eye and a devilish grin on his face. I groaned. What now? "So that’s it. You liked my dick."

 

I snorted. “Like I would.”

 

“You’re blushing.”

 

“It’s a dick. You were naked. I blush easy.”

 

He shrugged. “And you giggled. I didn’t giggle at your tits.”

 

"No, I think you drooled."

 

"They're fucking perfect. Take it as a complement."

 

"Screw you, Edward Cullen."

 

"Oh, _you_ wish."

 

"No, you wish, dickhead."

 

I stomped back down the hallway toward my room, and I heard him do the same.

 

There was a chorus of slamming doors and then total silence.

  
Through my door, I heard Jasper still in the living room. "Emmett, what the fuck did you do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ra’ roh! 
> 
> Much love to jessypt and barburella for their help! They are invaluable.


	5. It's All Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We see. It's EDB's birthday! I love this girl, fyi.

“This is unnecessary.” I threw myself down on the couch with my arms crossed, studiously not looking at anyone. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have, at least  not with my brother and Jasper in attendance. I owed Bella a multitude of apologies, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be forced to say I was sorry.

 

“This is very important,” Emmett said. “I don’t see how we can get past this as roommates unless it’s addressed.”

 

“This is between me and Bella. I know-”

 

“Exactly,” my brother interrupted. He sat on the coffee table, facing us. He had on his serious business face, and that threw me off. Emmett’s serious business face meant he was about to spout anything but. “I’ve called you all here today to discuss this recent bout of nudity in our humble abode.”

 

“Emmett,” I said, because I knew where he was going with this now.

 

“No, no. This is serious.” Emmett turned and reached out to take Bella’s hands in his. I wanted to bat them away because it was entirely possible he was about to make the whole situation ten times worse. “Bella, we believe in equality in this house.” He took a deep breath. “In the spirit of fairness… I think Jasper and I are going to have to see your boobs.”

 

I rolled my eyes. Jasper snickered. Bella gently pulled her hands from Emmett’s and took his face between them. “Oh, Emmett. No.”

 

“What? Equality, Swan. We’ll show you our junk. I’ve seen Edward’s, so Edward can flash Jasper too. It’ll all work out.”

 

“I’ve seen Edward’s junk,” Jasper said matter-of-factly.

 

Bella turned to him, eyes wide. “Really?” Her eyes darted to me and back to Jasper again.

 

“Nothing exciting. It happens sometimes when you share a space,” I said.

 

Her look turned colder and she cocked her eyebrow. “Just like that? You’re nonchalant about Jasper seeing your goodies but not me?”

 

I raised my eyebrow right back at her. “He didn’t giggle.”

 

She narrowed her eyes. The room was dead silent. Then her lips began to shake and she giggled. It was the cutest little titter which she automatically smothered with her palm. “Ah, hell. Sorry.”

 

I pretended to glare for another second before I grinned at her. “It’s all good.”

 

“I just have this inner monologue in my head sometimes, and it-”

 

“Bella. Really. It’s all good.”

 

She tilted her head and offered a tentative smile when she saw I was being serious.

 

“Okay. Good.That’s settled then,” Emmett said. “So. About the boobs…”

**~0~**

We weren’t okay. I knew that. I needed to apologize for being a dick, especially now that she’d apologized for giggling at my dick. Clearing the bad blood and all that because Emmett and Jasper adored the girl.

 

The problem was me. I knew it was. The problem was always me. Emmett and Jasper were used to me. They didn’t understand, but that was okay. I was just me. Emmett loved me because we were brothers--and he was a damn good big brother even if he was a pain in the ass. Jasper had been around so long he may as well have been my brother.

 

Bella… Bella was an innocent. She deserved an apology, if not an explanation. The idea made me tired. Tired enough that my bed got too comfortable every time I thought I should get off my ass and talk to her. That was the nature of the beast.

 

One night, my night off, just I was trying to convince myself yet again to come talk to her, there was a knock on my door. “Come in.”

 

The door opened slowly. I was expecting tall and broad. Instead, short and petite peered around my door. I shifted so I was sitting up with my feet on the ground instead of sprawled over my bed. “Hi.”

 

“Hey.” She creeped inside my door one foot, the other foot, and the first foot again as though she fully expected me to snap at her. She held a foil covered plate out like an offering.

 

“What’s this?” I asked.

 

She crept a few steps closer and gave me a proud grin. “Look, I know you said it’s all good, but I’m still sensing a cold front from this side of the house. So I made you these.”

 

I sighed, feeling about as low as a snail. “You really didn’t need to do this.”

 

“Of course I didn’t. But I want us to get along. They’re cookies, but not just any cookies. See, this guarantees you can’t be mad at me. These are the best cookies known to man. And I waited to make them until Jasper and Emmett were out of the house, so you only have to share if you want to.”

 

My mouth started to water. “What are they?”

 

“Butterscotch apple cookies.”

 

I had to laugh.

 

“What?” she asked.

 

“I don’t like apples.”

 

She balked. “What kind of freak doesn’t like apples? I mean. Um-”

 

I laughed again because the expression on her face was...well.. adorable. “It’s fine. More than fine, it’s really sweet. Literally.” I set the plate down. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

 

She shrugged and looked up at me with a tentative smile. “The thing is, I really like living here. I’m not sure how to explain it because it kind of feels like it should be a nightmare, right? Your brother… he can be a little much sometimes, but he’s really sweet about it, you know? And Jasper. Jasper seems really intense, but it’s because he’s a lot deeper than most people. He sees a lot more. Does that make sense?”

 

“Yeah. That’s Jasper.”

 

“And then there’s you.”

 

“And then there’s me.” I rubbed the back of my head. “Look, it wasn’t you. It was never you. I’m just an asshole, I guess, but that’s not your fault.”

 

“I don’t think that’s true.”

 

I looked up at her. “You think it’s your fault I’m an asshole?”

 

“No. I don’t think you’re an asshole.”

 

I looked down and shook my head. “Man, I don’t want to know what your life has been like that you set the bar so high for what makes an asshole. I’ve been a dick to you, Bella.”

 

“Well, that much is true. You have exhibited assholish behavior. But I don’t believe anyone is one thing.” Too my surprise she reached out and touched me. It was just a brush of her fingertips along my arm, but it was so gentle it took me by surprise. I found myself looking into her soft eyes. “Look, I know we don’t know each other, but I want to figure you out. And I don’t mean that in a ‘you’re a puzzle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a seven-layer-burrito’ kind of way. I just mean… everyone has a story. Everyone has a good stuff and bad stuff.” She wrinkled her nose. “Am I making any sense?”

 

I felt my lips curving upward, and I realized I was staring at her. Clearing my throat, I offered her my hand. “How about this. Let’s start over. I’m Edward Cullen.”

 

She slipped her hand in mine and squeezed as she shook. It was a firm handshake. “I’m Bella Swan.”

 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Bella Swan.”

 

Funny. I didn’t drop her hand right away like I should have.

 

Then again, neither did she.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Guess he calmed down a bit. 
> 
> Many thanks to songster!


	6. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kris’s A/N: Good golly, Miss Molly. My apologies to anyone who doesn’t like apples. If it’s any consolation to you, I didn’t mean it as a REAL insult. I don’t like chocolate. That announcement is met by many reactions, not the least of which is “What’s wrong with you?”. It’s all tongue in cheek, darlings. I suppose I’m just used to it, and I take no offense, so I meant no offense, savvy?
> 
> EDB’s A/N: I thought it was funny. Besides I might do the same thing with this chapter. Oopies.

Emmett was the one who came up with the bright idea "Let's go see a movie." I thought it was awesome. Who doesn't like seeing a movie on the big screen after all? The problem was we couldn't agree on the movie. Emmett wanted to see the latest action flick, Jasper was rooting for a war movie, and Edward wanted to see this indie movie about a folk singer. Emmett kept trying to goad me into picking a chick flick, but, except for a few, I didn't really like chick flicks. I didn't care anyways. Any movie was good with me.

 

With the three boys unable to agree however, and none of them of them willing give in, we decided to just go home and watch a movie there. With our multitude of dvds, blu-rays, and not to mention Netflix and Hulu subscriptions I didn't see how this was any better.

 

"Dude." Emmett groaned. "We are not watching Saving Private Ryan again. How many times have you seen that fucking movie anyway?"

 

"I don't know. How many times have you seen Die Hard?" Jasper countered.

 

"Die Hard is the greatest movie ever made."

 

"Oh please. Die Hard isn't within the top hundred movies made."

 

I tuned them out as they continued to bicker. Movie tastes were way too subjective for four people to agree on one.

 

Edward was flipping through the pages of my dvd binder with half a smirk on his lips.

 

"What's so funny now?" Over the last week, we had gotten along better, and I'd learned Edward had a wicked sense of humor. It was a little biting at times, but he didn't mean to be rude no matter what he said about being an asshole.

 

"Just you. I can't figure you out." He laughed as he turned page after page. "I have never known any girl who can go from The Avengers, to Pretty Woman, to Kenneth Branagh's film production of Hamlet. I thought my mother was the only who watched that."

 

"Have you ever seen Robin Williams doing Shakespeare? It's the greatest thing on Earth. I have the David Tennant's version too."

 

"I noticed." His green eyes sparked with amusement. "Wouldn't it be easier to pick one?"

 

"People who like one thing are boring." I shrugged. "I like complication. It makes things more interesting."

 

"It makes things more difficult," Edward muttered.

 

"Says the pot calling the kettle black."

 

"Touché."

 

With Emmett and Jasper still arguing, Edward and I made an executive decision, picked a movie, and ordered Emmett and Jasper to the living room.

 

Emmett, Jasper, and I squished on the couch with Edward on a nearby armchair. We shared popcorn and enjoyed watching a bunch of superheroes beat the living hell out of each other.

 

We were almost halfway through the movie when we began comparing each each other to the characters on screen.

 

"Emmett is clearly Thor." I muttered around a mouthful of popcorn.

 

"What? No Emmett is the Hulk." Jasper grinned. "Look at him. All we'd need to do is paint him green."

 

"I think I found some green paint in the garage."

 

"I hate to break it to the both of you." Edward almost sounded bored, but I didn't miss the smug superiority in his tone either. "But Emmett is clearly Iron Man."

 

"Iron Man? How?"

 

Edward held up his fingers, ticking them off one by one. "First, Iron Man has a terrible history with women."

 

"I wouldn't start with that Little Brother."

 

"Two, Iron Man drinks far too much."

 

"I can stop anytime I want to."

 

"Three, Iron Man is overconfident and far too smart for his own good."

 

"Yeah? Well then you're Loki, ‘cause you’re an asshole."

 

"Loki isn't an asshole. He's damaged." To be honest I'm not quite sure if I was defending Loki or Edward.

 

Emmett snorted. "Loki tries to take over the world, kills thousands of people and you call him damaged?"

 

"I didn't say he wasn't guilty, just that he didn't have the best upbringing and that caused some of his problems. I wouldn't want to be raised by Odin."

 

"Okay, so..." Jasper eased into the role of peacemaker just as he always did. "For obvious reasons, Emmett is Iron Man and Edward is Loki. Who are Bella and I?"

 

They mulled it over for several seconds before Emmett found the appropriate pairing. "Clearly Jasper is Hawkeye."

 

"Hawkeye? Why the fuck am I Hawkeye?"

 

"Because you're pretty and pretty much useless."

 

"Emmett." I let my best teacher voice come out. I understand the guys ragging on each other, but sometimes they took it a little too far. I had taken it upon myself to correct them in those instances. "That wasn't very nice."

 

"Aw, he knows I love him." Emmett waved me off. "Now who is she?"

 

"She's Captain America." Edward didn't take his eyes off the screen, but I felt like he was looking at me. "All heart and spunk, yet still manages to kick ass."

 

"Did you just compliment her?" Emmett and Jasper each began to tease Edward, but I tuned them out. I was still in awe of what he had said. My cheeks turned red, and I found I couldn't look at him. I had no idea what to make of that.

 

The movie ended, and Edward and Jasper went to bed. Emmett went to get some more food and I put in the next movie.

 

"What are you watching?" he asked as he wandered back in.

 

"Pretty Woman."

 

He glanced down the hallway toward Edward's room and up the stairs toward Jasper's before sitting next to me. "If you tell anyone I watched this and enjoyed it, I will fart in your bed."

  
"My lips are sealed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to songster for her help!
> 
> Alright, how’s everyone doing so far?


	7. Good Idea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hellllllloooooo. How ya doin, kids? Good? Yeah? Let’s continue.

“I had a dream.”

 

I held my breath and closed my eyes, glad we were on the phone so she didn’t see. Alice hated when I made the face I knew I was making. Her dreams came in two flavors: wishful thinking and full on panic mode. It wasn’t so much that Alice’s dreams were prophetic as it was she believed they could be.

 

“I know you’re making that face, Edward Cullen.”

 

“I’m sorry. Your dream. Continue.”

 

“It was simple, really. We were all hanging out. You, me, and the boys. They liked me. Emmett hugged me and Jasper… Well, that’s another story.”

 

Right. Wishful thinking. My heart twisted for her. Every time I tried to get Emmett and Jasper to see what a great person she was, something went terribly wrong. Alice didn’t help matters, that was true, but still, it broke my heart. “They would like you if they got to know you. It’s just…”

 

“The excessive drinking and my, uh, flare?” Her voice was tired, and I could hear the pain in each word. Alice was lonely.

 

“They just don’t understand you,” I said.

 

“Yeah. No one does. No one but you.” Her voice was thin, but she cleared her throat and went on. “Anyway. Speaking of you. There was something else about my dream.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“You were on the phone.”

 

“While you were visiting? That’s awfully rude of me.”

 

“You know how dreams work. I just knew you were on the phone with your girlfriend.”

 

“Oh, right. Her. I seem to have misplaced her permanently.”

 

“You were happy, Edward. Like insanely happy. I saw it in your eyes. And your smile. Fuck. I’ve never seen you smile like that.”

 

I sighed. “You still haven’t, Alice.”

 

“But I will. I believe this one. It’s how it was meant to be. The boys were meant to be friends with me. That’s how it was supposed to go. And you should be happy. You deserve it.”

 

“You deserve it too, you know.”

 

Alice hummed. She knew if she said she didn’t believe me, I’d just have to argue with her. “So how are things with the new girl?” she asked, changing the subject.

 

I clucked at my phone. “She’s hardly new anymore, Alice. She’s lived here for five months now.”

 

“My, my, my. The time does fly. So how are things with the not-so-new girl? Have Frick and Frack boned her yet?”

 

Even though I knew she was kidding--mostly--the question still irritated me. “I’d hope she had better taste than that.” Though she and my brother were awfully chummy lately. I frowned and wondered if I should be checking to make sure he wasn’t getting too close, as per our agreement. Emmett wasn’t good at impulse control.

 

“What taste do you think she should have?”

 

“That’s not the point. I’m trying to ask for your help, Alice.”

 

“Me help you. That’s a novel idea. I’m all ears.”

 

“New girl…” I rolled my eyes. Alice’s insistence in not calling Bella by her name had rubbed off on me. “Bella’s birthday is this month. I need gift ideas, and you’re good at that. I was an ass to her for a while, so I’d like to make it special.”

 

“Oooh. Is she having a party?”

 

“No. She said she doesn’t like parties. She doesn’t like the attention.”

 

Alice was silent for a handful of seconds. “This woman’s hair was electric blue when you met, wasn’t it?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then she can’t possibly mind attention that much. Everybody says they don’t want attention, but that’s a load of crap. We all like to feel special now and again. I like feeling special every day.” She squeaked. “Edward, I know! You can throw her a party.”

 

“What? Are you insane?”

 

“Debatable, but that’s not the point.” I could hear the excitement mounting in her tone. “No, this is a great idea. You should throw her a party.”

 

It was good to hear the smile in her voice, but I wasn’t sold on the idea. “No way, Alice. I’ve never thrown a party.”

 

“Well then we can cross it off the bucket list. Besides, you won’t have to do much except finance it. I can put it all together. Like you said, I’m good at this kind of stuff. Why not a party? We’ll do something fancy. Themed.”

 

“Her birthday is in less than two weeks.”

 

“Pffft. I can pull it off. Come on. It’ll be fun. And we can kill two birds with one stone. If I throw a kick-ass party with you, Emmett and Jasper can’t hate me anymore. I’ll be moved up the ladder to mild dislike.”

 

“They don’t hate you.”

 

“What. Ever. You and I both know I need some points in my corner when it comes to them. That’s all I’m saying.”

 

A little voice in my head was screaming that this was a bad, bad, bad idea. But Alice begged, and it had been a long time since either of us had done anything social. Emmett and Jasper were constantly trying to get me to go out. This might get them off my back for a month or two at least. Plus, if nothing else, Bella would appreciate the effort. She was the type. Even if Alice was wrong and she did hate all forms of attention, she was a ‘it’s the thought that counts’ type of person.

 

What could possibly go wrong?

**~0~**

Emmett and Jasper thought it was a great idea. They started drawing up a guest list the minute I told them. I was confused until I realized what they were doing. They were listing all our friends who were single. Apparently, they thought setting Bella up was a great present.

 

I supposed I should be grateful they were keeping to their word about not trying to get in her pants themselves, but it bugged me.

 

After them, I told Peter and Charlotte. They were thrilled.  Of course, they had been doing that dance for the last five months where they talked about how we really all had to get together sometime but we never did. This would fill their quota until the wedding.

 

Then I called Bella’s best friend, Rosalie.

 

I’d been gone at the bar or otherwise occupied the few times Rosalie stopped over, so I’d never met her. Emmett was borderline obsessed. He asked Bella how “Rosy” was doing almost before he asked how her day had been. Jasper said she was a bitch, but Jasper was also the kind of person for whom the title of bitch came with a degree of admiration.

 

She answered the phone with a curt, “Who is this?”

 

“Um. My name is Edward Cullen, I’m-”

 

“Bella’s forlorn, brooding, mysterious roommate. I almost thought they’d all made you up for funsies. They said you existed, but you know, five months is a long time to go without meeting someone my best friend lives with.”

 

“I do exist.”

 

“So it seems. How did you get this number?”

 

“I…” This wasn’t going to go well. “I stole Bella’s phone for a minute.”

 

There was what could only be described as cold silence on the other end of the line. “You stole her phone? That’s really creepy and stalkerish.”

 

“Whoa. It was for a good cause.” Jeez. Well, at least she was protective, I guess?

 

I outlined the plan for Rosalie so she wouldn’t call the police, and she burst out laughing. “A party for Bella. Well… that should be an entertaining evening.”

 

“You’re her best friend. If you think she’ll hate it…”

 

“She will turn beet red, but she’ll forgive you, and she might even have a good time despite herself.” Rosalie laughed again. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll give you some numbers. Bella attracts some, uh… interesting people, so be sure you’re ready for that.”

 

I felt satisfied with myself when I had gained Rosalie’s stamp of approval. All that was left was to try to rein Alice in.

  
What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks so much to songster and barburella and my cohort, Bella.
> 
> Sooo. Party. This should go smoothly, right?


	8. It's My Party and I'll WHAT if I Want To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello loverlies! So, I know it’s been a while. So, so, so sorry. I had a rough couple of weeks. Back now though and this chapter is the longest yet! Woot woot!

I had always hated parties. My mother used to throw them for me every year, and I had to invite every kid from my class. They always ended up too big and too loud. I preferred to stay home and have a nice quiet night.

 

So imagine how I felt when I opened the door to a loud chorus of "Surprise!"

 

I almost died of embarrassment.

 

After I got past the shock though, it wasn’t all bad. The house was full but not overflowing. Jasper and Emmett made a point of introducing me to anyone I didn’t know. Evidently Alistair was a bit of a punk rocker and dyed his hair blue once, Felix had two kids but wasn’t with their mothers, and Dimitri was apparently a very talented masseur. I was pretty certain my roommates were trying to set me up.

 

Charlotte of course wanted to know how it was living with the boys. I told her it was great and made sure not to mention Edward’s and my rocky start.

 

It felt like hours before I was able to relax which was why I didn’t like parties. I was a wallflower. I didn’t want to be the center of attention. Falling onto the couch between Emmett and Jasper was as close as it was going to get to disappearing.

 

“Where’s Rosie?” Emmett asked.

 

I shrugged. “Not quite sure. You know she hates that name right?”

 

“Yeah, she told me. It’s just too perfect for her.” The constant amusement that I expected was still in his eyes, but there was something new as well. Something quiet, gentle, and filled with longing. Was Emmett falling for Rosalie? “Besides, Rosalie is a mouthful and Rose is just too common.”

 

I grinned. Emmett wouldn’t be the first one to fall for Rosalie’s good looks. I kinda wanted him to get to know Rosalie just to see if he could handle her. He would be the first of her boyfriends I had liked. “Well, then maybe you should go find her. She could probably use some help keeping away from Mike. He doesn’t know how to take a no.”

 

Mike was a friend of mine. We met a coffee bar. He was a spoken word artist who specialized in erotic art. Rose thought he was creepy. I thought he was amusing.

 

“Okay, I've been wondering, who is that?” I subtly nodded toward the kitchen where there was short, dark haired woman. I’d noticed her earlier but didn’t recognize her. She seemed to stay pretty close to Edward, and I had noticed Emmett and Jasper go out of their way avoid her. That annoyed me. It seemed a little rude.

 

“Oh, that’s Alice,” Jasper muttered.

 

“Alice? Edward’s ex-girlfriend Alice?”

 

“Yeah. More like on-again, off-again.” Emmett rolled his eyes. “Don’t know what he sees in her.”

 

“What? She seems nice.” She had smiled most of the night, although she still looked a little sad. Like she didn’t quite belong. I could empathize with that.

 

“Yeah, she’s nice enough.” Jasper’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “But she’s crazy.”

 

“Oh, come on, she can’t be that bad.”

 

“B, she’s crazy.” I was a little uncomfortable with how gossipy this had gotten, but that didn’t stop me from hanging on every word Emmett said. “She thinks she can see the future, and I’m not even kidding. She says she has dreams and they happen. I don’t understand why Edward keeps going back to her.”

 

“They’ve know each other since college, and they’ve been through a lot. It makes sense.” Jasper defended Edward, but I could still hear the edge of uncertainty in his voice. “Honestly, just leave her be. Trust us.”

 

I rolled my eyes. I loved the two of them like brothers, but they were being rude and a little petty. Alice couldn’t have been that crazy. Besides she wouldn’t be any crazier than some of my other friends. “Well, it’s my party, and I’m going to say hi.”

 

I elbowed Emmett before I stood up. “Rosalie is over there and she looks bored. It’s never good when Rosalie is bored.”

 

I went to meet Alice if for no other reason than no one else was being nice to her. It was my party, and no one was going to feel unwanted at my party.

 

Edward grinned at me when I made it across the room. I didn’t quite understand why my stomach fluttered at the sight. I wasn’t going to think about it.

 

“Hey, so do you like it?” he asked, his cheeks turning a light pink. It was adorable.

 

“It’s great. Took me a little while to get used to it, but yeah, it’s not so bad. I can’t believe you and the guys managed to get all this done.”

 

“Oh, well, it wasn’t us. Um.” His green eyes darted to the side before he grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. I almost jumped when I felt fingers wrap around my elbow but managed to keep my composure. What the hell was wrong with me?

 

I was easily distracted but Edward didn’t seem to notice. “Bella, this is Alice. She did most of the planning and gave me the idea in the first place. Alice, meet Bella.”

 

Alice smiled, but I didn’t miss the dark bags under her eyes. She looked bone weary. I wanted to hug her, offer her a cup of Sleepytime tea, and tuck her into bed. I had to hand it to her though; she was still standing there, with a real smile on her face. She had some back bone.

 

“Oh, so you’re the new girl.”

 

“Um, new girl?”

 

“Um, yeah, that’s my fault.” Edward gave me a sheepish grin. “I, uh, didn’t use your name for a long time. It kinda stuck. Sorry.”

 

“No, it’s fine.” I’d never had a nickname before. Besides I knew Edward didn’t mind me now. It was sweet in a way. “So, what do you do, Alice?”

 

“Oh, um.” She looked a little surprised that I had asked her. “I work at a daycare.”

 

“Awesome. What ages?”

 

“Twos and threes.”

 

Alice proved to be a wonderful conversationalist. We spent about twenty minutes talking about kids, teaching techniques, and everything in between. She was smart, funny, and seemed to really care. I didn’t know what the guys were talking about. She wasn’t stupid; she wasn’t an idiot. Some of her mannerisms were a little odd for sure but they weren’t so bad that you couldn’t get look past it.

 

One of the things I did notice was her alcohol intake. I felt a little sorry for Edward since the later it got, the more she drank, and the harder it was to keep her from doing something stupid.

 

Much later in the night, just as I was starting to loosen up, Rose dragged me onto the improvised dance floor in the middle of our living room. I hated dancing. I had no rhythm, and I looked a seal on land, but I was enjoying myself. Besides which, next to Rosalie no one was going to be looking at me.

 

The funky opening beat to Macklemore's Thrift Shop played and Rosalie groaned and giggled. She had a love/hate relationship with Thrift Shop. I personally loved it. It made me laugh and personified my own unique style.

 

Apparently I wasn’t the only one. Alice squealed and ran from where she and Edward had been by the drinks to the dance floor. There she began dancing, if that was what you could call it. Every move was over-exaggerated. Her arms and legs seemed to go everywhere. I noticed some people staring and snickering, but she didn’t seem to notice. She just kept doing her thing.

 

I caught a glimpse of Edward. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. His lips were turned down in a frown, but the edges where threatening to turn up in a begrudging smile. It was cute look on his normally dower face, but I still felt my heart skip a beat. Something was fixing to go wrong.

 

I had one guess.

 

I got proved right just moments later.

 

Alice pulled her jacket off first followed by her shoes. Couldn’t really blame her for those. It was when she pulled her shirt off leaving just an admittedly cute bright green bra that things got a little awkward. I mean, no one expected someone to strip at my surprise party. Alice didn’t even seem to notice what she was doing.

 

It was when I caught several people pointing and laughing that I decided to do something. So Alice was stripping, big deal. That didn’t mean that you had to make fun of her. Objectively, she was kinda cute. If I had swung that way, I probably would have hit on her.

 

Regardless, I wanted to get the attention off of her so I did the first thing that came to mind. I moved next to her and pulled my own shirt off. I purposely ignored our audience and shimmied and shook with Alice. After we loosened up, everyone started cheering us on. Who doesn’t like dancing topless women? To be strictly honest it was kinda fun. Awkward, but fun.

  
Yes that’s right, I stripped at my own surprise party. And I liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muchos, muchos love to my Kris. She’s a rock star and everything. Also to songster and barburella.  
> Kris’s random A/N: Hey cats and kittens. Random question here. Are any of you interested in prereading for a Charlie/Alice angsty multi-chap? My pre-readers are understandably a bit nauseous at the idea. Let me know! Kisses!


	9. Nothing Good Happens After Three AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hola, my darlings. Bear with me on updates. I know I’m behind. I am buying a house, have school, work, AND I just finished my second book, which I hope to be able to tell you about soon. Updates should be more frequent for my stuff soon. Anyway. Enough excuses. Onward.

Alice was humming. She was completely fucking trashed. Typically that meant some serious shit was going down. I’d experienced the whole spectrum with Alice. I wouldn’t have been surprised at screaming, crying, overt sexual behavior, destruction of property. Been there, done that. But humming?

 

That was new.

 

It was almost four in the morning and the last guests were finally leaving. Alice was lying on the couch, curled up like a cat and happy. I grabbed a throw and spread it over her. She opened her eyes, blinking like a sleepy cat, and she smiled at me. It was a rare smile. Peaceful.

 

Before I could turn away, she grabbed my arm. “You remember my dream?” she said, her words slurred. “The one with your girlfriend?”

 

I sighed because I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say. I wasn’t about to rock the boat though. “Yes, I remember.”

 

She yawned and closed her eyes. “I think it’s Bella.”

 

It was surprising what an effect those words had on me. It was as though my brain had been given permission to give voice to desires I had. Of course I knew I was attracted to Bella. Attraction wasn’t the type of affliction anyone could ignore. I thought about her too often, about the minute things, the silly things that made me smile.

 

Beautiful bodies are a dime a dozen. Everyone owned beauty in their own unique way. Attraction was trickier than merely parsing out physical beauty. It was all about the details and my growing obsession with them.

 

“You shouldn’t say those things to me,” I said to Alice. “You shouldn’t put those thoughts in my head.”

 

Alice was already asleep, of course--the brat--and it was too late.

 

When the last guest left, I made my way back to my room. The only thing on my mind, besides Bella, of course, was sleep. Imagine my surprise when, as I made my way from the kitchen to the hall, I heard her talking in frantic whispers. Worried for her, I turned towards her room and peeked in her door.

 

“Are you freaking kidding me, Emmett?”

 

She was standing in the middle of my room with my barechested brother. Jealousy and anger hit me like a punch to the gut. Emmett was the one who’d insisted we couldn’t have a female roommate because one of us would sleep with her, and then he…

 

Luckily,  my brain caught up with me before I could do something stupid. Emmett was half-naked,  blanket cinched around his waist, but Bella was fully clothed and way out of my brother’s personal space. And there was a sheepish woman in her bed pulling on clothes.

 

My brother pulled out his best grin; the one that got him out of trouble with Mom--dimples and everything. “Sorry, Bella. Peter and Charlotte fell asleep in my room. Besides, it was a little more private up here, ya know?”

 

“More private than your own room in your own apartment? I’m not picking up what you’re putting down here, buddy.”

 

As she spoke in a whisper-yell, she continuously poked him in the chest. At the end of her tirade, she stamped her foot and waved her finger in his face. “You and I are not friends right now. At least not until all my sheets and blankets are cleaned. Drycleaned.”

 

With that, she whirled and stormed out into the hallway, straight into my chest because I didn’t step back fast enough. One of my hands caught the wall to keep us both from going down in a tangle of limbs. I slung my other arm around her waist to steady her, thus keeping her pinned against me. All of that might have been fine except I didn’t let her go even after we were both safe. I was struck dumb and slow by her pretty, wide eyes.

 

“Hey, Bella. Really, I-”

 

I stepped away from Bella and pushed off the wall as my brother came into the hallway behind her followed by the mystery blond.  He looked between Bella and me, and I saw how much he wanted to ask what was going on. Luckily for him, he was just smart enough to realize being caught having sex in someone else’s bed didn’t leave him with a leg to stand on.

 

“Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “We’ll get out of your way.”

 

“It’s a little late for that, slick. If you think I’m sleeping in that room until it’s been thoroughly disinfected, you have another thing coming.” Bella glanced at the blond. “No offense.”

 

“None taken. He didn’t tell me it wasn’t his room.” She folded her arms and glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “So all the fabulous geek stuff?”

 

“So not his.”

 

Emmett laughed nervously and shrugged. “Hey, we had a good time anyway, didn’t we?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He kissed the girl. She squealed, but then she giggled and melted against him.

 

Bella sighed. “Don’t let him send you home. Get a good cuddle out of my misery at least. Look at the man. He looks like he gives good cuddle.”

 

The girl stopped shoving her tongue down my brother’s throat long enough to flash a grin and a thumbs up. “On it.”

 

Emmett pulled the girl back into Bella’s room and shut the door behind him. Bella shook her head and turned around. She stopped short when she saw I was still there. Her smile was shy. “Guess I’m sleeping on the couch.”

 

As she brushed by me, my mind snapped on again. Out of instinct, I grabbed her around the wrist and drew her back to me. I was momentarily shocked by her nearness but recovered quickly. I took a step back and let her go. “Sorry. Alice is asleep on the couch.”

 

“Really? I thought for sure she’d be with you tonight.”

 

“I… Why would you think that?”

 

“Err. Well, Emmett and Jasper told me you and she are on again, off again.”

 

I laughed. “Emmett and Jasper aren’t as well informed about anything as they think they are.” I shook off the annoyance. It was late, and I was tired. “It’s the opposite, really. I would bring her to my room except Alice gets a little handsy when she’s drunk, and since we both agreed we’d rather be friends than lovers, I’d rather avoid that scenario.

 

“Anyway. Long story very short, you can sleep in my room if you’d like. The sheets haven’t been used for more than sleeping. I promise.”

 

She looked as though she was going to argue, but when she opened her mouth, she yawned. “I’m way too tired to say no, but you’re not going to pull any of this sleeping on the floor crap. We’re both adults.” She took me by the hand and pulled me along behind her before I could protest.

 

I should have said something. My feelings for her were changing, and that was bound to make things complicated. But I was dead on my feet and a little bit tipsy besides. I let her pull me into bed.

 

She was beautiful, and in my sleepy state, I was content to have her close. Having her there, it was obvious how much I’d been trying not to feel this pull for her. I had no idea what I was going to do about it, if anything, but I couldn’t deny it was there.

 

“So Alice,” she said with a yawn as she settled, her hands tucked under her cheek.

 

My stomach twisted and my defenses raised. I forced myself to take a deep breath and remember Bella wasn’t like everyone else. “You were great with her tonight. She takes people off guard, and they don’t usually react well.” And I hadn’t minded the view either. I was only a man, after all, with eyes on top of that.

 

“You love her,” she said.

 

“I...what?”

 

“I don’t mean you’re in love with her. I mean you care for her. You’re attached.”

 

I was quiet a moment, wondering how much to divulge. “I know she’s a little off, but there are reasons for that. She gets a lot of crap when she’s really a very sweet girl.”

 

“She’s like you, isn’t she?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Hurting.” Even in the low light of the room, I could see her eyes were open and on me. “I would listen, you know. If you ever wanted to talk. It helps.”

 

“Does it?” Suddenly I wondered if there was a reason she was able to see people, see Alice and me, the way she did. Did pain recognize itself in others? That made my heart ache. I had to fold my arms tight across my chest to stop myself from reaching out to her. Instead, I said, “Same goes, you know. If you ever need someone to talk to.”

 

She sighed. Her eyes were closed and her words thick with sleep. “I know, but I don’t want to.”

  
Only a second later her breaths evened out leaving me to wonder what it was she was hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Much thanks to my lovely Bella, awesome partner. And thanks to songster for beta work. Much heart everyone.


	10. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Holla chickadees! Won’t keep you long here. I know you want Bella and Edward morning events. TeeHee.

It was warm. That was my only coherent thought when I woke up in the morning. There was a wonderful heat coming from somewhere else in the bed, and it was making it difficult to fully wake up. I just wanted to stay there, forever.

 

And then, slowly, my other senses came into play. Wherever that blessed heat was coming from, it was solid underneath my cheek. In fact, the whole right side of my body was pressed against it. I hurriedly went over what I could remember of the previous night. I hadn’t drunk that much although I had stripped. But I could still remember everything.

 

My cheeks felt hot as I remembered what happened after the party. Emmett had sex in my room. I slept with Edward. Well, not slept with him. We were still clothed, but I shared a bed with him.

 

And now I was curled around him, leg over his, and head on his shoulder.

 

He would hate this.

 

I cracked an eye open to find his face just inches from mine. His eyes were closed, lashes brushing his high cheek bones. His lips were pursed in a quiet pout. I bit back a giggle. I wasn't quite sure what was so funny. Maybe it was the baby-ish pout.

 

I stared at his lips for a moment too long, imagining in a flash of indulgence what it would feel like if his lips brushed mine, and got caught. Edward’s green eyes had cracked open with a look of shock. “Swan?” he croaked.

 

I jumped, instantly putting space between us. I missed the heat and closeness but shook it off. “Sorry. I was just waking up.”

 

“No, it’s fine.” He rubbed his eyes with his palms.

 

An awkward silence descended. The walls had been down, at least a little, last night and I had no idea where they were now.

 

Finally the tense atmosphere got to me. “I guess I better go.” I fled out the door leaving him staring wide-eyed behind me.

 

I sighed and leaned back against the wall. What in the hell was wrong with me? My heart hadn’t pounded so hard when he’d seen my breasts, and that was easily more embarrassing. We were two grown adults. We could sleep in the same bed and not act like children. It was possible.

 

I hit the back of my head against the wall once before pushing away from it. I didn’t want to think about how nice it was to curl up next to him, the warmth, the curve of his arm around my waist.

 

I shook my head and moved toward the kitchen. I needed to eat something and begin to think clearly.

 

Unfortunately there was a crowd in the kitchen. Peter and Charlotte hovered around the stove were the smoky scent of bacon was coming from, Alice stood unobtrusively in the corner looking a little worse for wear, and Rose was by the kitchen island with the remaining bottles of liquor.

 

“Mimosa, my dear?” she asked in her best fancy voice.

 

“Yes please.” I really needed to talk to her alone, but a little alcohol was the second best option.  I just had to shut my mind down until I had time to focus on what I may or may not be feeling for Edward.

 

“You alright?” Rosalie’s sharp blue eyes were studying me as she slid the orange drink across the island.

 

“I’ll be fine,” I muttered.

 

“Did you sleep with someone last night?”

 

“No,” I hissed, hating how loud her voice sounded. “It’s nothing. Just drop it.”

 

“Oh no. I know that look. That’s your I’m-conflicted-about-a-guy look. Now who is it?”

 

I stubbornly set my jaw and refused to look at her. She knew all my buttons and just how to wear me down. If I could just not look at her, I could make it.

 

“It’s Edward, isn’t it?”

 

I choked on mimosa. “Rose!”

 

“Give it up. I saw you coming out of his room.”

 

“We didn’t do anything.”

 

“Bella, I told you, you can’t live with three single guys. It was bound to happen at some point.” Rosalie’s grin was positively evil. “So, how was it?”

 

“Rose, I told you, we didn’t do anything. I couldn’t stay in my room so we shared a bed. That’s all.” Of course I didn’t tell her that we had woken up curled around each other. She didn’t need ammunition.

 

“Why couldn’t you stay in your room?”

 

I bit my lip. I didn’t know yet how Rose felt about Emmett, and I still wanted to set them up. Telling her that he had slept with another blond woman might damage his chances. Rosalie did not forgive easily.

 

Saving me the trouble Emmett wandered in with said blond woman, arm around her waist with her hair in complete disarray. Rosalie’s eyebrows shot up to hairline and her lips formed a thin, hard line.

 

“Morning everyone!” Emmett said at the top of his lungs. Edward, who came in after him, slapped him on the back of his head.

 

“You should apologize to Bella, jackass,” he muttered.

 

“Sorry, Bella.” He flashed me his dimples and made it impossible to stay mad at him. “I’m gonna go walk Sherie to the door. Save me some pancakes.”

 

As soon as they walked out the door, Charlotte rounded on Edward. “He slept with Sherie?”

 

Edward nodded, apparently unnerved by Charlotte’s crazed eyes. Something sank in my stomach. This was not going to be pretty. “Yep. In Bella’s room no less.”

 

Charlotte was quiet, too quiet, until Emmett sauntered back in, goofy grin on his face, and no idea the storm he had just walked into.

 

“Emmett Cullen, you are no longer invited to our wedding,” she calmly ordered before turning back to the stove.

 

“The hell? What did I do?”

 

“You sleep with anything that so much as breathes. That’s what you do.”

 

Emmett snorted. “Please, you knew that when you invited me. I’m coming.”

 

“You are not!” Peter tried to calm her down like a good fiance but she was in full bridezilla mode now. There was no stopping her. “Now I’m afraid that you’ll sleep with my cousin Amy.”

 

“Amy is twelve.”

 

“Oh shut up, Peter.” Charlotte growled. “You know what I mean.”

 

“You really think that little of me, huh?” Emmett squared his shoulders and stared her down. At the moment my money was on the smaller Charlotte. “Don’t you have a twenty-year-old niece? Yeah, the one I met last Fourth of July. We talked and she gave me her number. I never called because you told me not to. Well guess what? I’ve still got her number. Maybe I’ll call her and see if she has a date yet.”

 

“Emmett Cullen! If you ruin my wedding I will screw you over so hard…”

 

“Oh please, Charlotte, screw me.”

 

Charlotte gave an inarticulate scream and advanced on Emmett. Peter reached out to grab her while Edward moved to keep his brother from doing something stupid. I, being the idiot I am, jumped between the two them.

 

“Okay, hold on.” I held my hands up to keep blood shed from occurring in our kitchen. “How about this. Emmett goes to the wedding, but I go as his date to keep anything from happening. What do you say, Charlotte?”

 

It took a couple of seconds, but eventually she nodded. “Okay, I trust you, Bella. But if he makes one move on a girl, then I’ll have him thrown out.”

 

“Trust me he won’t do anything, will you Emmett?” I asked.

  
“Going to a wedding with a hot woman? Yeah, I can agree with that.” Emmett winked, and I tried to pretend that I didn’t see a flash of hurt across Edward’s face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Muchos love to my Kris and to Songster for beting. Mwah everyone!


	11. Mood Swings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alo, friends. For anyone reading this on FicionPad, sorry about the missing chapter. I’m trying to figure out how to delete a chapter…

I was, as Jasper would say, in a mood and a funk. Was it possible to be in both a mood and a funk?

 

“It’s ridiculous,” I complained to Jasper for the billionth time. “Emmett’s grown. Overgrown. He shouldn’t need a babysitter. And Charlotte is being insane anyway. Even if Emmett screwed every bridesmaid in sight, how would that ruin her wedding? And Bella.” Her name came out a lot more venomous than I intended. “Bella doesn’t know when to keep her big nose out of everyone else’s business. She’s always trying to make everything so… nice.”

 

Jasper took his eyes off the road to give me a withering stare. “Oh no. Not nice. Heaven forbid.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“Actually, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

 

“She’s just…” I got distracted. Every time I thought about Bella, I thought about waking up in the middle of the night when Bella rolled over from her side of the bed and come to rest with her head on my chest, her hand splayed low on my belly.

 

I was still mostly asleep when it happened. That had to be why I didn’t think it was strange. It didn’t feel strange to have her there in my arms. More than that, it felt right.

 

Nothing had felt so completely right in my world for a long time.

 

But I wasn’t really awake. That was the was the thing with dreams. Every emotion was pure. Couldn’t I compare the pure contentment of my dream to the pure terror of a nightmare? It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been a dream. It was to my brain. It had to be.

 

That was the only explanation for what I did then. I pulled her closer and pressed my knee up between her legs. She stirred, smiled, and burrowed closer to me, moving her head to my shoulder. Her breath was hot on my neck. It should have been uncomfortable, but rather than push her away, I brushed my lips against her forehead and drifted back to sleep.

 

“Dude. Are you blushing?”

 

My head snapped over to Jasper who was throwing me incredulous looks in between glances at the road.

 

If I hadn’t been blushing, I was then. “No,” I said anyway. “It’s hot in here. You need to fix  your damn a/c.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with my a/c.” He snapped his fingers and barked a loud laugh. “You know, I thought that’s how it was, but Emmett told me I was crazy. He said you were the one who made us all swear we wouldn’t sleep with her, and then-”

 

“Me? I’m not doing anything.That’s the problem. I said from the beginning Emmett is going to do something, and then-”

 

“You just said two minutes ago that Emmett isn’t actually going to do anything.” Jasper paused. “It’s you. It’s going to be you, isn’t it? You want to. You want her.”

 

“I don’t,” I said automatically. The words curdled on my tongue. They tasted awful. They were a damn lie.

 

I wanted her. I wanted her so bad I hadn’t been able to think for three days. Since I woke up with her in my arms. Since the day she said she’d go to the wedding with my stupid brother.

 

“You’re lying,” Jasper said.

 

I sighed. “I said someone would. What does it matter? We all promised not to do anything about it if it happened.”

 

“And you knew that promise was bullshit the minute we made it. If one of us wanted it, it was always going to happen.”

 

“That’s what I said! At the beginning of all this, before she moved in, that’s exactly what I said.”

 

“Not exactly, and cut the crap. We both know you don’t do casual fucks.” Jasper hesitated a beat. “Is it because of Alice?”

 

“Not this again.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before.” Jasper shook his head. “No one is friends with their ex, let alone best friends. Especially with someone like Alice.”

 

I rankled at that. “What the hell does that mean?” I demanded even though I knew damn well.

 

Jasper had the decency to look abashed. “Ah, hell. I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

“Oh, yes you did.”

 

“Yeah,” Jasper muttered. “You can’t really argue with the fact she’s… high maintenance, and not in the way Charlotte or her friend Rosalie are. Not to be crude, man, but why on earth would you put up with all that, from an ex-girlfriend no less, unless you were getting something in return.”

 

I stared at him, incredulous. “That’s not even crude, it’s just plain ugly. You want to know what I get out of knowing Alice? Friendship. Yes, she’s…. troubled, but so am I.”

 

“Not in the same way.”

 

“No. Not in the same way. That means she’s not worth knowing?”

 

Jasper didn’t answer that. We’d pulled into the shopping center where I was going to meet Alice. “Thanks for the ride,” I said. I was even more irritated than before, and I was sick of being so angry. “You could get to know her. Then at least your judgment would have something less shallow behind it.”

 

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Yeah, okay.” He shifted the car into park and turned it off.

 

“What are you doing?” It should have been obvious considering he was unbuckling his belt and getting out of the car.

 

“I’m inviting myself to lunch, obviously.”

 

I stared. He stared calmly back.

 

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

**~0~**

My teeth were clenched so hard they ached.

 

Ever since the morning after the party, I’d been sticking to my own room. It wasn’t hard. I went to the bar early, and I hung out with Alice more than usual.

 

But tonight was my night off, and hunger got the better of me. I wandered out of my room and immediately regretted it.

 

Emmett had his big, meaty hands wrapped around Bella’s wrists. He was trying to pull her up  off the sofa. “Come on, Belle of the ball. You’re going to dance with me at the wedding, aren’t ya?”

 

I paused in the hallway, watching as Bella’s glare softened, and she let my brother pull her up and put his arms around her. “I can’t dance,” Bella said in a voice that suggested it wasn’t the first time she’d said it.

 

Emmett grinned and put his hand to the small of her back, pulling her closer. Unnecessarily close. “Eh, that doesn’t matter so much.” He swayed them a little, and I felt my fingernails dig into the the flesh of my palms.

 

“Charlotte wants us all to swing dance,” Bella said. She didn’t try to move away from him. “This isn’t a swing dance.”

 

“I am well aware of that.”

 

“Then what the heck are we doing?”

 

My brother waggled his eyebrows, and I felt like punching him. “I just thought we should get used to each other, since you have to keep all the girls’ hands off me,” he said. “And let’s face it.” He pulled away slightly and gestured to himself with his free hand. “That’s going to be a hard job.”

 

“I’m sure.” Her tone was dry, and I relaxed minutely. Emmett was trying to be charming, but she wasn’t charmed. Patient, but not charmed. “But what about the swing dancing?”

 

“I don’t know how to swing dance.”

 

“Well, I do,” I said.

 

I had no idea what possessed me to do it, but before I knew it, I was in the middle of the living room, pulling Bella away from Emmett. She looked at me, her eyes as startled as I felt. I’d been the one to pull her to me, but for some reason, I was startled to find her so close. We stared at each other for a long beat.

 

God, yes, I wanted her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to scream at her for agreeing to go to the wedding with Emmett. I wanted to curse myself for not asking her first, even though that was ridiculous. She wasn’t mine. She never had been.

 

But I wanted her to be.

 

I swallowed hard to clear the lump from my throat so I could speak. “I…” I took a deep breath, suddenly aware my brother was staring at me with a cocked eyebrow. “It’s easy.”

 

The next hour or so was spent teaching her the basics of swing dance. It was hell and heaven all at once. Heaven to press her close, hell to push her away as the steps demanded. She fumbled a little, but when she learned to trust me to lead, she was almost graceful as she moved with me.

 

Emmett helpfully put on Jump, Jive, and Wail. Bella grinned, apparently up for the challenge, and we put together the moves we’d been practicing ending with a twirl in and I bent her into a low dip. She was breathing hard. So was I. I was gasping in her spent breath.

 

So close.

 

I straightened up with her, not letting her go. “You can dance with me. The swing dance, I mean,” I said, wanting to say something much much different. “At the wedding.”

  
She blinked. She looked disconcerted. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to barburella and songster! How are we doing out there, everyone?


	12. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Okay well this chapter didn’t go as planned either. Woops! I think you guys will enjoy it anyways.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Peter Damon.”

 

We all stood up and applauded the happy couples appearance. Charlotte was gorgeous in a white sheath dress that hugged all her curves. She was positively glowing with happiness and contentment. I could honestly say that I had never seen her more beautiful. Peter looked dashing in a tux with tails. The wedding had been perfect. I didn’t think anything could ruin it, but it was better to keep my ward on a tight leash.

 

When the applause died down and everyone turned back to mingling, I wrapped my arm around Emmett’s. I was less worried about him and Charlotte, but there was still no reason to tempt fate. Besides sometimes I thought that Emmett really needed reining in.

 

“Come on, big boy.” I teased. “You owe me a drink.”

 

“I owe you a drink? It’s an open bar. I’d say Peter and Charlotte owe you a drink.”

 

I shrugged. “Semantics. Come on, if I’m expected to dance in public later, I’m gonna need a little help.”

 

We had our drinks before he asked to obvious question. “I saw you dancing, and all that talent couldn’t just be my brother. You were good. So why don’t you want to dance in public?”

 

“This may come as news to you but not everyone likes to be the center of attention.”

 

Emmett faked a hurt a look, but the grin overtook it very quickly. “I promise not to do anything stupid and crazy. Does that make you feel better?”

 

“It would if I believed you.”

 

Emmett waggled his eyebrows conspiratorially. I giggled. Oh god, this was going to be a long night.

 

Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Edward. I’d seen him earlier, before the wedding and had been a little shocked. Up until then I’d only seen him in blue jeans and t-shirts. I hadn’t been expecting the fine figure he cut in a suit. It was jet black, and he’d attempted to control his fly away auburn hair. He was handsome. More than handsome, he was sexy.

 

I’d been unprepared for the feeling. I knew that Edward was good-looking, but other than that I had tried my best to ignore it. We had developed a difficult friendship and I didn’t want to jeopardize that.

 

On the other hand his eyes had gone dark and wide when he’d seen me in this bridesmaid dress. The skirt was much shorter than I would have normally worn. I was constantly pulling it down and would then remember that the top was low cut too. I couldn’t wait to get out of it. I didn’t know what to think of his look since he hadn’t said anything. He’d just clenched his jaw and turned away at the same time Emmett had jokingly slung his arm over my shoulder.

 

Now, as he timidly approached us that look was once again on his face along with a certain amount of weariness. I smiled trying to get him loosen up. I really didn’t understand Edward sometimes. He looked like he was was walking toward the gallows.

 

“Bella.” His voice was warm and comforting but it changed when he turned to his brother. “Emmett.”

 

“Hey, Eddie.” Emmett didn’t seem to notice his brother’s tension. I didn’t see how. Edward was so tense he was nearly vibrating. “How glad are you not to be bartending tonight? Doing weddings must suck.”

 

Edward nodded absentmindedly and focused on me. “You need a break from that dick?”

 

I giggled. “No. He’s fine and be nice. I have never seen two brothers go at each other more than the two of you.”

 

Edward shrugged and turned to his drink. I could practically feel the disappointment roll off of him. What was wrong with him? He’d been oddly moody and distant for weeks now. Just when I thought we were making progress, then he’d withdrawn again. He confused me and annoyed me all at once.

 

I jumped when Emmett draped his arm around my waist. What the hell was he thinking? “Come on. Let’s go dancing.”

 

I rolled my eyes. “Alright fine, but you owe me.”

 

He winked and I giggled. Jerk. As we walking away I caught Edward glaring at his brother with  pure hatred. I was really going to have to figure out what was going on with him.

 

*     *    *

 

Emmett was not nearly as graceful as Edward. He was simply too big. If I wasn’t stepping on his toes, then he was stepping on mine.

 

What he lacked in real dancing talent he made up for in charm. He was always ready with a joke or an amusing comment on some of the other dancers. It got to the point where we were almost laughing too hard to dance. We were quickly becoming a center of attention, but I didn’t mind. Emmett was funny and kept my attention off of what was going on around me.

 

When someone cleared their throat, I tried to remember how to stop giggling and act like a normal human being. Edward looked even more sour than he did earlier. That helped sober me up. Emmett just grinned and kept his hands on the small of my back. That struck me as oddly intimate.

 

“You mind, Edward.” Emmett snickered, at what I wasn’t quite sure. There was nothing funny on Edward’s face. “We were trying to dance?”

 

“And failing miserably.” Edward growled, I was struck by how angry he sounded.

 

“Dancing isn’t all about the moves.” Emmett grinned, flashing white teeth. Edward’s hand twisted into a fist. Clearly there was more going on here then I realized, and I needed to do something to keep it from turning into a fight.

 

I put a hand on Emmett’s chest, hoping he would take the message and shut up for a moment. “Can I help you, Edward?”

 

His green eyes fell to my face and softened just a little. “You owe me a dance. I was wondering if I could cut in. Please?”

 

I would have said yes in any case, but the quiet desperation in his voice did me in. There was something wrong with him and I wanted, no needed, to help him. I’d already told him I would anyway. I didn’t like breaking promises.

 

First I had to off-load Emmett, and I found the perfect place. “Why don’t you go sit with Rosalie? She looks a little lonely.”

 

For the first time that night Emmett’s face fell. “She scares me.”

 

“Then you shouldn’t have slept with the blond on the night of my party.” I rolled my eyes. Honestly, the two of them were perfect together. They couldn’t deal with their real feelings at all. “Just go talk to her. Go.”

 

He took a deep breath and headed toward her table. Rosalie glared my way, but I only winked and turned back to Edward. He only looked, confused. “Are you okay?”

 

He shook his head and held out his hand as Louis Armstrong began warbling the opening bars to It Don’t Mean a Thing If It Ain’t Got that Swing. Dancing with Edward was entirely different from dancing with Emmett. Edward was graceful and knew what he was doing. He was smooth and confident in his leading. What ever was wrong with him it didn’t affect his dancing.

 

There was another thing too. I was hyper-aware of how close Edward and I were. His arm around around my waist held me tightly to him, his other hand had my own fingers twisted around it. When he would brush my skin, it felt like I was being shocked. It was wonderful and frightening all at once.

 

“Well.” I cleared my throat, suddenly very nervous. “Are you having a good time at least?”

 

Edward chuckled darkly. “Yeah, sure. I’ve just been a little distracted.”

 

“What have you been distracted about?”

 

He spun me out in a circle before gently pulling me back in. I felt his warm hand against the satin dress on my back. I tried not to sigh like a love-lorn teenager. What the hell was happening to me?

 

“Nothing. Doesn’t matter.” It didn’t sound like it didn’t matter, but I let go. A dance floor didn’t seem like the place to bring whatever it was up. “You and Emmett were looking pretty cozy.”

 

“Your brother’s fun and besides we needed to keep Charlotte from going full-blown bridezilla.”

 

“So that’s why you did this? To keep Emmett in line?”

 

“What does it matter to you?”

 

I could almost physically see him bite his tongue. His eyes were still hard chips of emerald though. “Edward, what is your problem? You’ve been acting weird and avoiding me since, well, that night we shared a bed.”

 

“Maybe that’s my problem.”

 

“What I’m too weird to share your bed with?”

 

“No. That’s not. Fuck.” He swore softly and his cheeks turned a very soft shade of pink. “Why does everything with you have to be so complicated?”

 

“I’m not making anything complicated, Edward.” He was really starting to frustrate me now. Why couldn’t he just spit out whatever it was he was trying to say.

 

“Oh, no. Flirting all night with my brother isn’t complicated?”

 

“What? I wasn’t flirting with Emmett. He’s a good guy. Nothing else. And what is to you anyway?”

 

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, eyes wide and mouth open as he sucked in ragged breaths. There was silence for the space of a few heartbeats before under his breath he said, “Screw it.”

 

Before I could even wonder what that meant, he pulled me flush against him, lowered his head and kissed me. His lips were soft and gentle. Just barely there touches that made me think that I wanted more. I gasped more than a little shocked and took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I forgot that where we were and grabbing his jacket in my fists and pulled him closer to me.

 

He opened his eyes and the spell was broken. We remembered where we were and and what we were doing and what we shouldn’t have been doing. He took a step back and I felt the loss like a punch in the gut. He kept my gaze though; like he couldn’t quite manage to look away, and I got a little weak in the knees. What was happening to us?

 

Then he jumped, looked down, and pulled out his phone. His eyebrows drew together in a worried appearance. I wanted to reach out and smooth it away, and I was surprised by the force of the wish.

 

“I need to go take this.” His voice was rough. I didn’t know if it was from the worry on his face or the effect of our kiss.

 

I nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Um, I hope everything okay?”

  
He nodded once before turning. Part of me wanted him to stop and kiss me again, but instead he turned and almost ran out of the building and away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Well, things escalated. How we are feeling now?


	13. This Can't Be Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m not usually a fan of warnings, but this fic has tended to be more funny and light. So in the interest of fairness, trigger warning for talk of suicide. PM me if you have questions.

Everything was not okay. No. Pretty far from okay here.

 

“Shit.” I scowled at my phone. “Shit, fuck, fuck, hell.”

 

Some of Peter and Charlotte’s guests were aghast at my language, but to hell with them. I was well aware of the fact I had just kissed Bella--something I had been trying to convince myself not to do for weeks now--and I was running like hell away from her. And despite all the back and forth--the should I, shouldn’t I of it all--running away from Bella was the last thing I wanted to be doing.

 

And the fact that a decent chunk of my mind was distracted by Bella had me guilty as hell because Alice…

 

Alice wasn’t answering her phone.

 

I’d had my doubts about coming to this wedding in the first place. It pissed me off to no end when Charlotte told me I couldn’t bring Alice as my plus one. I was so pissed. I was ready not to go at all, but Alice talked me out of it.

 

“I’m crazy, Edward,” she’d said with that smile that was supposed to tell me she wasn’t hurt even though I knew damn well she was. “You can’t expect people to want to be around that.”

 

I tried to tell her there wasn’t anything wrong with her, but there was, and we both knew it. Which was why I’d been texting her constantly today. One way or another today was always going to be hard on her. Weddings were hard on her, and the fact she’d been deliberately excluded from this one made it even worse. I tried to stay with her, but she pushed me out the door.

 

“Dance with Bella,” she said. She made me promise.

 

I danced. And I kissed her. And then Alice called and I knew. I just knew.

 

Everything was about to go straight to hell.

 

Alice’s voice shook when she spoke. She only said a few words. “This isn’t your fault. You have to know that. It isn’t your fault. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” And then, she hung up.

 

I kept up a litany of curses as I ran from the hall and vindictively hoped Charlotte’s elderly relatives were scandalized. Served her right anyway. Out in the parking lot I cursed even louder, provoked this time.

 

My car was blocked in.

 

I looked around frantically, dialing Alice yet again as I did. When I spotted Jasper’s car, free of all obstructions, I hung up and called him instead.

 

I’d called Alice three more times before Jasper appeared. “Can I borrow your keys?”

 

He eyed me, his expression dubious. “I think not. You’re a wreck. Have you been drinking?”

 

“No.” I ran my hand through my hair, cursing again. Alice’s phone had started to go straight to voicemail. She’d shut it off.

 

Or it was shattered in a million pieces under her broken body. One or the other.

 

“Look,” I said to Jasper. “I haven’t been drinking. I need to get out of here. Or if you won’t give me the keys, I need you to drive me somewhere without asking me any questions.” I didn’t have time to explain, and I couldn’t betray Alice that way. Not after all this time.

 

Jasper was a great friend, though. He just nodded and dug his keys out of his pocket. “Tell me where to go.”

 

Just as we were about to take off the back door of Jasper’s car opened. I twisted in my seat and cursed again. “Bella, what the fuck?”

 

“Well, same to you, buddy. You kiss me and then run off? I mean, I’m sorry it took my brain a while to unfreeze or I could have done one of those really smooth moves where I grab you and pull you back and… where the heck are we going?”

 

During her tirade, I’d frantically motioned to Jasper to move. Taking both him and Bella with me where I was going was not what I wanted, but I couldn’t wait. I banged the back of my head against the headrest, muttering a few instructions to Jasper and telling him to drive fast. I stared down at my phone, as though if I glared at it hard enough, it would connect me to Alice. I hunched over, curling tight around the knot of panic at the center of my chest.

 

God, I couldn’t do this again. Please.

 

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning my head, I saw Bella was kneeling in the backseat. How surreal this moment was. She was gorgeous. Her hair fell long and wavy, done up all fancy. And me and Jasper in our tuxes. And I’d kissed her and fuck me if I didn’t want to kiss her again, but my best friend might already be dead, and…

 

I groaned, running my hands over my face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. No, wait. Not everything. Not…” I shook my head. It was getting harder to think around my panic. “I’m sorry. I can’t think. It’s Alice.”

 

That was about all I could manage by way of explanation before we were finally turning onto her street. Jasper had driven like a maniac, and she didn’t live too far from the venue. I had thrown myself out of the car as soon as I could. Probably too soon given the way Jasper and Bella both shouted at me in surprise.

 

It was pathetic that I was relieved not to find cops and aghast bystanders crowded around the place. Then again, there was nothing saying she was here. In fact, if she was determined not to be found she wouldn’t be here. She would have known this was the first place I’d come.

 

Fuck.

 

I ran. I ran up ten flights of stairs. My hands were shaking as I used my spare key to get in.

 

The place was pristine.

 

Alice’s apartment was never this clean.

 

“Alice?” I didn’t bother closing the door as I bolted to her bedroom door. Locked. I pounded on it. “Alice, let me in.” No answer. “Alice?”

 

It was only when I heard the creak of old floorboards that I could breathe again. She was there. She was alive. “Alice? Honey, please open the door. Please. Let me in. Let me see you. Let me make sure you’re all right.”

 

Her answering laugh was bitter. “I’m not all right. I haven’t been all right in a long time. A long, long time.” There was a maniacal edge to her voice, and she almost crooned those words. Her tone chilled me to the bone. I knew she was crying.

 

“I know.” I splayed my hand flat against the door. “Honey, I know. Let me in. Let me hold you.”

 

“Go away, Edward.”

 

“Alice-”

 

“Go. Away!” She screamed the words and gasped. “Just go away. Let me do this in peace. I can’t take it, Edward. I can’t live like this. Not anymore. I can’t…You have to understand. You of all people have to understand.”

 

I grasped the door and shook it. Hard. I reared back and kicked it. It rattled but didn’t give, and my leg hurt. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Alice, open this door right now.”

 

She was sobbing, hysterical now. “I’m so selfish. I’m so fucking petty and selfish. All I could think of all day was how I never got to be married. I should have been married by now.” She gave a harsh laugh. “Married and divorced. God, I just feel so sorry for myself. And why? What the fuck right to I have? What right when it was my fault. It’s my fault.”

 

I banged my fist impotently on the door and then leaned against it, breathing hard. I closed my eyes, but tears spilled down my cheeks anyway. “Alice. You’re not really going to do this to me, right? You can’t do this to me. You can’t make me see it again.”

 

There was a pause and then a desperate growl. “I told you to go away. That’s so unfair. Just let me go. I can’t do it anymore, Edward. It hurts too much. You’re being selfish.”

 

Suddenly furious, I slapped the flat of my palm against the door. “Damn straight I’m being selfish. This is self-preservation talking. I can’t do it, Ali. I’m the one who found him. You blame yourself, but I blame myself too and I found him. I found him. Please don’t make me see it again. Please. Open the door. Open the door. Please, Ali. Please.”

 

We both stood on opposite sides of the same door, crying. It was the longest minute of my entire life, but then the lock turned and Alice stood there. I made to take a step toward her, but I stopped short, taken aback by the sheen of sweat on her tear-streaked face and the glassy look of her eyes.

 

“It’s too late.” Her words, I noted, were slurred. She swayed. She fell, and I barely caught her in time. She looked up, though her eyes wouldn’t focus. Her breath smelled strongly of alcohol. Vodka, I thought. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

 

Her body went limp in my arms.

 

A gasp drew my attention and I became aware Bella and Jasper had found us. “Call 9-1-1,” I barked at them as I shook Alice, lowering her to the floor. “Alice. Wake up. Wake up, Alice. You’re not doing this to me. You’re not fucking doing this to me.”

 

Time warped. Bella called the ambulance, and Jasper tried to help me rouse Alice. He brought cold water to splash on her face, and it made her open her eyes and groan. He also went to the bedroom and found a metric shit ton of pill bottles. all empty.

 

Shit.

 

When the paramedics arrived, Bella pulled me gently back. I wasn’t thinking at all. I was running on adrenaline and instinct. I wanted to tear something apart. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg whatever god might be out there to make Alice open her eyes again, make her be alright.

Someone was babbling nonsensically and it took me too long to figure out it was me saying ‘I can’t’ over and over and over again.

 

Bella pulled me into her arms. She held me tightly and ran her hands through my hair as we stood, watching the paramedics. They were talking to her, trying to keep her conscious, explaining they were getting her to the hospital and they were probably going to have to pump her stomach.

  
“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” Bella said against my ear.

 

I clung to her.

 

“I’m right here. I’m not going to leave you,” she promised.

  
And when she said that, I could breathe again. Whatever was about to happen, it would be different, better, because Bella was there to hold me up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So...that happened.
> 
> Many thanks to barburella, songster, and my partner in crime, EverydayBella. 
> 
> Um… Hi? How are we doing out there?


	14. Not Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey kiddies! Time for some answers. Who’s ready?

Edward hadn’t been still since we left Alice’s apartment. In the car he had bounced his knee and here in the hospital waiting room he paced. His long gait carried him down across the room, toward the middle, around the seats there, toward the counter with the coffee pot, in front of me and back to the far wall. I watched him make the circuit, eight, nine, ten times. He didn’t talk; he didn’t look up from his shoes. He just paced.

 

Jasper had gone to find “some real coffee” and there was no one else in the room. I felt I should have been doing something. I should have made him talk, or at least acknowledge what was going on. He was bottling everything up, shutting down just in case the news from down the hall ended up being bad. Surely there was something I could do to help him through this.

 

But then, that was the problem. I had no idea what this was. I’d jumped in the back of Jasper’s car because I thought he was trying to run away from me and I wasn’t going to let him, at least not without a fit, but then we were speeding down the road, and Edward was jumping out of moving cars and begging his best friend not to die, and then Alice was on the floor and he was pulling his hair out muttering “not again” over and over. He hadn’t said a word since.

 

I didn’t even know how to help because I had no idea what was going on. I mean yeah, I understood Alice had tried to commit suicide and Edward had found out. That made all too much sense to me, and I had to fight not being sick as my own memories came back. Edward’s “not again” comments and all the things that I’d heard him scream at Alice’s door told me that there was something more going on. This wasn’t the first time that he and Alice had been through this.

 

I wanted to help. I needed to help him, but at the same time I didn’t want to make it worse. That was the last thing I wanted to do.

 

Finally I gathered my courage, carefully shoved away the worried and haunted memories playing at the edge of my mind, and walked over to him. I put my hand on his arm and stopped his pacing, likely forcing him back to reality. His eyes were wide with surprise like he had forgotten I was even there.

 

“Edward, why don’t you come sit down?” I asked, carefully modulating my voice so as not startle him. It was the same way I talked to scared kids at school. “It’s going to to be while and you’d be more comfortable.”

 

He shook his head, lips pressed into a thin line. I half hoped he would say something, even if it was just a simple no. He was going to explode if he didn’t let this out and soon.

 

Jasper walked in balancing three styrofoam cups. His sharp eyes glanced between the two of us before sitting and cocking an eyebrow as to say, “Really? I’ve been gone ten and minutes and nothing has changed in this room.” I could only shrug in response.

 

“Edward, come sit down.” Jasper’s voice made it clear that Edward wouldn’t be arguing. I took my coffee from with a smile that was grateful for more than just the warm caffeine.

 

Edward dropped onto the seat next to me, nose pinched between his fingers and knees bouncing like a kangaroo. I wanted to grab the one closest to me and hold it still, but I didn't know how he would react if I touched him. I wanted to touch more than just his knee. I wanted to wrapped both arms around his waist and hold on tight.

 

The three of us sat in silence while the clock on the wall ticked the minutes away. Edward held his cup but never took a sip and his knee continued bobbing. Up and down, up and down, up and down. It got faster and faster until finally he just stopped, let out a sigh, and muttered, “I knew something like this was gonna happen. Weddings just fucking suck.”

 

Jasper and I sat silently in our uncomfortable waiting room chairs, dressed to the nines. The boys had looked so handsome in their tuxes earlier and now they just seemed useless and out of place. I’d nearly squealed when I’d put on this dress because for once I hot and now the only thing I could think about it was that these shoes hurt.

 

“Alice takes them hard and who can blame her? Charlotte just makes things worse.” Edward muttered again. “I should have stayed. This is all my fucking fault.”

 

“Edward, you can’t…”

 

“Don’t Bella.” Edward turned to glare at me, and I let it go. “Just don’t. I knew she would do something, and I just let her push me out the door because I wanted…”

 

He trailed off squeezing his eyes closed. “Alice was engaged back in college. James was my best friend. He introduced me to Alice. She wasn’t like this back then. She was normal. She was happy. She was over the moon and then she became this strange, scattered little thing. I don’t recognize her some days.”

 

Edward trailed off. His thumbnail was etching shapes and swirls into his styrofoam cup. He took a deep breath, and another, and a third before he spoke again. “It was a couple weeks before the wedding and I went over to their apartment. I don’t remember what for. Probably something stupid. I’d just dropped out of med school and had a lot of free time.”

 

“When I got there, it was quiet. Way too quiet. Alice and James didn’t know how to be quiet. There was always music or the tv on. The place felt cold and that just wasn’t right.”

 

Edward’s breath shuddered, his hands shook, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over, wrapped both arms around his shoulders and held on. He gave me a shadow of smile and leaned into me like he had at the apartment.

 

“I found him in their bedroom. He’d collapsed on the floor and it didn’t look like he was breathing. There were pills. I don’t remember what, just that there was a lot of them. He wrote Alice a note and then swallowed them. I didn’t know what to do. I’d taken CPR, I’d been pre-med and I just, I couldn’t think. He was just lying there and I couldn’t think of a thing I could do. I was helpless.”

 

He paused and tried to wipe away the tear stains on his check. “I should have checked for a pulse. I should have tried to make him breathe. I should have done something. Instead I froze. I was terrified because I didn’t understand. I hadn’t known there was anything wrong with him. I was his best friend, and I didn’t know.”

 

Edward was pleading, begging for understanding. I squeezed him a little tighter and hoped that he understood that I didn’t blame him. I couldn’t. You could sit across from someone everyday of the week, talk to them, laugh with them, cry with them, and still never know that things were so bad that they think not living would be better. I swallowed down bile. Pain really did recognize itself.

 

“Alice got home about that time and saw him before I could even gather my thoughts. She, of course, freaked out, and I did too. I was scared that if we told anyone, they would blame us, which was stupid. It was very clearly a suicide; there was a note and everything. I couldn’t think straight though, and Alice and I went and hid at the school library until someone called us to tell us something had happened.”

 

His breath caught in his throat and he stared straight forward as he softly admitted, “To this day, I still don’t know if he was alive when I found him. He could have been, and if he was, then this is my fault. James and Alice--it’s all my fault.”

 

I knew that line of thinking too. The thought that everything that happened could have been stopped if you had just noticed. If you had just known, you could have said the right thing, pounded on the right door, run just far enough to make the difference. You don’t want to let go so you hold on to everything you've got left even even if just the idea of it was slowly tearing you apart. You do it because it seems like a fitting tribute.

 

I grabbed Edward’s cheeks in both my hands, turning him to face me. I met his haunted green eyes and told him, “This isn’t your fault.”

  
His bottom lip quivered, and I could tell he didn’t believe me. That was fine. I would just keep telling him. Maybe I would believe it one day too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Oh dear. Poor boy. Thanks to dizzygirl28 for taking a look for us.
> 
> How are we feeling out there?


	15. The River In Egypt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, kids. It’s almost the weekend. That’s good.

To tell the truth, there wasn’t much I remembered about the day James died.

 

I remembered seeing him sprawled on the floor. God, who could forget a thing like that? His body was just so unnaturally placed. His neck was oddly stiff.  And blue. His lips were blue. His face was blue. His skin... It was just different.

 

Except for that image,  there wasn't much I remembered with any kind of clarity. My head space was one big roar of senseless noise,  like the sound of a plane's engine taking off. The world around me became surreal. It was like being in the scenes in the movies after the character does drugs and starts tripping except it wasn't funny; it was bewildering. And frustrating because I couldn't make my brain reason, I acted without conscious thought.

 

I saw James and I froze.

 

Alice came in. She screamed and screamed. I don't know what she screamed,  but I remember the sound. It was such a horrible sound.  She dropped to her knees, and I pulled her back before she could touch him. I didn't know why. I never did figure out why.

 

Action. Reaction.

 

Alice went white. Sickly white. I took her outside. Maybe I thought she needed air. But I didn't stop. I got in my car on autopilot. Alice followed.

 

Good little robots.

 

When she got in the car, Alice folded up like a flower at night. She put her hands over her ears and rocked, like maybe she could hear the roar too. It was so loud.

 

Maybe that was how we ended up at the library. There was a basic logic to it. I couldn't think over the noise; the library was quiet.

 

The silence was eerie,  but I was stuck again. Without any rationality,  I was frozen in the action/reaction cycle until something happened.

 

Alice and I sat across from each other not talking,  not seeing... just... off.

 

Until my phone started vibrating.

 

"James. Oh, god, Edward. James is dead." Victoria, a mutual friend of ours, said. I still remember the way her voice trembled.

 

The whole world came rushing back,  the sound sharpened, and I could think again.

 

And I could feel again.

 

That was James.

 

The sun had risen by the time Bella and Jasper called Emmett to reason with me. Well, no. Not reason. Emmett did what Emmett did best. He manhandled me. He got me up out of that damn plastic seat, put an arm around my shoulders, and hustled me forward ignoring my babbling about how I needed to see Alice. I couldn't leave before I saw her.

 

"Her sister is with her," Emmett said.

 

Yeah. I didn't trust Alice’s family, but Cynthia was the best of them. "She's a twenty-one-year-old girl. She can't handle this. Alice needs me."

 

"Edward." Bella's hand was warm against my back. "Cynthia said-"

 

"I know what Cynthia said," I snapped.

 

Alice didn't want to see me.

 

No one said anything, but Emmett kept me moving forward. Before I knew it, I was in the car with Bella beside me. She held my hand, and I tried to think about how soft her skin was instead of anything else.

 

Back home, she led me to my room. By that time, I was running at about a ten second delay. I knew I needed to do something, but I just stood there. By the time I figured out I should start untying and unbuttoning, Bella pushed me to sit on the edge of my bed. She glanced at me as she started to unbutton my shirt.

 

This was not how I imagined this happening.

 

But even though it occurred to me I should tell her she didn't need to do any of this, I couldn't make myself say the words. In fact, I was drained. I was empty inside except for an ache so freezing cold it burned.

 

When Bella knelt to untie my shoes, I rested my hand on her hair. Appropriate?  Who even knew anymore.

 

"Lay down," she said, pushing gently on my shoulder.

 

Instead, I reached out to touch her arm. I watched, fixated on the way my fingers looked against her skin. "You're cold," I said.

 

"Don't worry."

 

I continued to stare. There was a lump in my throat. It hurt to swallow. It hurt to speak. "Will you..." Was I really about to ask this? "Stay. Please. I don't. .. I don't want to be alone."

 

She didn't answer, but she sat beside me. "Lie down," she said again.

 

I stayed still for another few seconds before I moved my hand to her back and unzipped her dress.

 

"Edward."

 

"It can't be comfortable." She'd been in that dress for too many hours.

 

She hesitated, but then she stood and let her dress fall.

 

Bella in a slip. She was beautiful of course,  but I didn't care. Not right then. Not like that. I offered her my hand, and she let me pull her into bed. She put her arms around me and kissed my forehead. "Go to sleep," she said.

 

This time, I obeyed.

**~0~**

I woke up with a pounding headache and sore eyes. My head was cloudy. It took me a few minutes to sort out what was real. I grabbed at the phone, already anxious about something before I really remembered what it was.

 

No calls.

 

All the bad stuff was real; I remembered that.

 

Well. I remembered falling asleep in Bella’s arms. That was a bittersweet memory right there. All the more bitter because I was alone in bed now. It disturbed me not because I wanted her back beside me, though I did, but because Bella needed sleep just as much as I did.

 

Of course, there was every possibility she’d just gone to sleep in her own bed. The thought made my heart pang a little, but really, what was one tiny cut when there was a gouge in the center of my chest?

 

My head felt like it weighed at least twenty-five pounds. My neck ached with the effort of holding it up. I just wanted to make sure she was asleep. Just another weird thing to add to this surreal hell of a day. It had to be close to noon, and there were exactly three thoughts in my head: How is Alice? Is Bella sleeping? I want to go back to sleep.

 

When I stepped out into the hallway, I got my answer. I heard Bella’s voice coming from not-her-bedroom. I trudged toward the sound, though I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t think I had the energy to admonish her about not being in bed.

 

I stopped short when I heard what they were talking about. Bella seemed to be at the end of the story I’d told her about James.

 

Shit. She was telling my brother.

 

Before last night, no one but Alice had known what really happened. I slumped against the wall, resting my pounding head.

 

“That’s bullshit,” Emmett said.

 

Ah, denial.

 

“It’s shocking, but--” Bella began, but he interrupted her.

 

“No, I mean it’s literal bullshit. God dammit. I should have known. I know he’s been a little off since it happened. I mean, that’ll fuck anyone up-- their best friend committing suicide. But that he actually thinks he could have saved him. Fuck.”

 

What?

 

“What are you talking about?” Bella asked.

 

Emmett sighed. “When it happened… I knew he was going to blame himself. Not like this, but I know my brother. He’s good at needless guilt. He always has been. None of us saw it coming, but Edward is the kind of guy who would have taken it personally.

 

“So I asked my dad to do me a favor. It wasn’t ethical, and you have to understand, our dad is a good doctor. He’s all about ethics, but this was for his son.”

 

“I get it, Emmett. You’re not going to get any judgment from me. What was the favor?”

 

“Well. I asked him to get his hands on the autopsy report. Bella… James had been dead for about twelve hours when he was found by that chick. That means he did it at night. Which fits, you know. He and Alice had gotten into a fight. She stormed out the door, and that was it for him.”

 

I jumped when I heard a pound, as though Emmett had brought his fist down on the table. “Dammit. I showed him the report. I showed him.”

 

“I don’t understand,” Bella said. “I can’t imagine what it’s been like for him, thinking James might have been saved if he hadn’t panicked.”

 

“Who knows,” Emmett said. “Kid doesn’t always make sense to me.”

 

“Maybe it was because believing he let his friend down is actually less painful than the truth,” another voice, Jasper’s voice cut in. “Edward was pre-med, and he’s smart. He’s smart enough to know when someone is well and truly dead.” His voice was soft, sad. “I didn’t know Edward back then, but I know him now. I think he’d rather believe anything, including that he ran from that apartment to save his own skin, than accept the fact he was helpless.”

 

I slunk back to my room then, my heart pounding right along with my head. When I got there, I sat on the bed, trying to think and failing.

 

Emmett pushing the autopsy report at me was a vague memory in my head. I took it from him to make him shut up, and then I didn’t look at it. I couldn’t look at it. I couldn’t actually read the words that would have condemned me. If there was even the slightest chance he could have been revived…

 

But with Emmett’s revelation, I couldn’t stop the memories from barraging me again.

 

The blue of James’s lips. The tense set of his body. Tense because rigor mortis had already set in.

 

It took rigor mortis about two hours to begin to set in.

 

I dove under the blankets and wrapped a pillow around my head. Surreal. Nothing about today seemed real at all, and it was too much. I didn’t want to think anymore. I didn’t want to think about James’s body and Alice limp in my arms. I didn’t want to remember how blindsided I’d been with James and how blindsided I wasn’t with Alice.

 

Most of all, I didn’t want to think about what Jasper had said because helpless was exactly what I felt. Helpless to save James. And though I’d tried, holy God I’d tried so hard, I hadn’t been able to help Alice.

 

I jumped when I felt a hand against my back. “Edward?”

 

Bella.

 

I let out a long, slow breath and gripped the pillow tighter when she tried to take it from over my head. I was crying again, and I didn’t want her to see.

  
The bed dipped and she laid down again beside me. She rubbed my back and didn’t try to coax me out from my hidey-hole. Her fingers worked their way up, and she scratched my head. It calmed me, and eventually, I found sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So. There’s that. I hope that cleared a few things up.
> 
> Many thanks to Barburella and Songster. 
> 
> Anyway. I’ve got a rough night ahead of me. Not as rough as Edward’s, but I have a final and then The Fault In Our Stars. Guh! See you soon, kids.


	16. Bella's Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: We’re getting there. Just a little bit longer.

My eyes felt dry and itchy when I opened them. Too much crying and not enough sleep.

 

It took me a moment to remember where I was and why I wasn’t in my room. Why my arm was draped around Edward’s shoulders. At some point during the night the pillow he’d pulled over his face had fallen. His brow was still tense, eyes squeezed tightly shut, but he was asleep.

 

I didn’t want to startle him, he needed that sleep, so I allowed myself to curl back around him. I laid my cheek against his back and tried to take stock of everything that had happened and how I felt about it.

 

Poor Edward. Poor Alice. It was all to easy to imagine what they were going through. What they had been going through for a long time. All that pressure, the burden they had both been carrying. It was a miracle they’d managed to make it this long. Hopefully now we could help them. That was if they wanted to be helped.

 

A low moan came from Edward. I rubbed his back, hoping that I could ease his entry back into the real world. He rolled over, rubbing his eyes, before looking at me and attempting a smile. It didn’t reach very far. “You stayed,” he croaked.

 

“Of course I did.” I brushed my knuckles along his jaw, feeling the day old growth there. His eyes drifted closed, and he leaned into my palm. “How are you feeling?” He took a moment to glare at me. “Yeah, I know. Stupid question.”

 

He grunted, eyes drifting closed again. His lips were drawn into a thin line. After a moment of silence, he whispered, “I don’t know how I feel.”

 

“That’s to be expected.” I pushed hair off of his forehead. “Why don’t we get something to eat?”

 

He nodded but he didn’t make any move to get up. I pulled him up with me out of bed and dragged him down the hall to the kitchen where I sat him on a barstool. Once there, he began tracing the grain of the marble countertop with his fingertip. His heavy eyes never looked up from the counter.

 

I let him sit quietly while I fixed some dinner. I figured as soon as the smell of food spread out through the house, Jasper and Emmett would show up. The three of us could then try to wake Edward up.

 

The red sauce was simmering and the spaghetti nearly done when Edward spoke again. “What are you singing?”

 

I turned around, startled. I hadn’t even realized I’d been humming. “It’s just a song my mother used to play when I was little.”

 

“It sounds pretty.” His voice was flat, uncaring.

 

“I’m sure it’s been better. I’m practically tone deaf.” I grinned, hoping that he would tease back or at least say something, but he only curved his lips up, barely, before turning back to the marble.

 

I knew that look. Edward was shutting down. I didn’t expect anything less. It was a self-defense mechanism. A way to come to terms with Alice’s attempted suicide and the reemergence of their pasts. The problem was that he needed to talk to somebody. He couldn’t just revert into himself. It wasn’t healthy.

 

Breaking him out of this shell wouldn’t be easy.

 

Fortunately, I had help. If there was anyone that I trusted to break out of his shell Edward it was Emmett.

 

Emmett and Jasper were subdued at least, or as subdued as Emmett ever was.

 

“Is that food I smell?” Emmett asked, grinning as he slapped his brother’s shoulders.

 

I plated spaghetti for Edward before telling the other boys, “It’s on the stove. Help yourself.”

 

While Emmett and Jasper fell over my cooking like they hadn’t eaten in a week, Edward just picked at his plate. He took only a few tiny bites while moving noodles around his plate. He had to be hungry. He hadn’t eaten anything since the wedding reception almost twenty-four hours ago.

 

I nudged his shoulder. Edward got my unspoken message, took one bite, and went back to staring morosely at his plate.

 

I sighed and suddenly my own food didn’t taste so good. I didn’t know what to do to help him. I knew he was hurting. I knew he was likely lost in own sea of pain. I knew how easily it was to get lost in that kind of suffering, how easy it was to think you were alone in it. I would do anything to make him feel just a little bit better.

 

I had an idea. It wasn’t one I particularly relished, but it would help, of that I was sure.

 

“I’m serious. That Rose is crazy.” Emmett grinned at me wagging his eyebrows. “She can a dance a jitterbug better than anyone I know. She wore me out.”

 

“She’s good for you.” Jasper said, a wicked spark in his eyes. “Keeps you on your toes.”

 

I was certain Emmett was going to agree but Edward stood abruptly. “I’m gonna go call Alice. She has to talk to me.”

 

We watched him go silently.

 

“Should we stop him?” Emmett asked. Jasper and I both just shook our heads. “But, she’s not gonna wanna talk to him.”

 

“He needs to deal with it.” Jasper said quietly. “We can’t do it for him.”

 

It only took about five minutes before Edward wandered back, head down, fingers wrapped around his cell phone. “She, um, she wasn’t awake.”

 

The three of us didn’t say anything, although it was clear just by looking at him that wasn’t the truth. Alice had just refused to talk to him again.

 

I patted the seat next to me, and he sank onto the stool like he was carrying the weight if the world on his back.

 

I wasn’t going to just stand by anymore. This was going to hurt us both, but he needed to hear it more than I needed to keep it hidden.

 

“She’ll come around.” Emmett’s voice was unusually soft. “You remember that time when our cat disappeared after you hit it with a stick?”

 

“I was ten.” Edward muttered in a completely dispassionate voice. “What’s your point?”

 

“Well, you were all upset ‘cause it ran away, and you thought it was your fault, which it totally was by the way. I mean, who hits a cat with a stick even if the stick was a lightsaber and the cat was a stormtrooper? Anyway, it showed up a couple days later and it was like nothing had ever happened. It blew over.”

 

“This isn’t just going to blow over, Emmett.”

 

“No.” Emmett agreed. “But you did the right thing, and she’ll see it too.”

 

Edward pushed his plate away and focused back on the grain on the marble.

 

“Don’t you two have some trouble to get into?” I asked Jasper and Emmett.

 

I tried to show my true intent with with my eyes. I just needed a moment alone with Edward.

 

Jasper nodded, said something about playing Halo, and all but pulled Emmett out of the room.

 

I turned to Edward, who wasn’t even pretending to eat anymore. My heart twisted at the tears glistening in his eyes once again. I took a risk and reached out to grab his hand. He jumped and looked up at me.

 

“I’m going to tell you a story,” I told him.

 

Before he could say or do anything I took a deep breath. I tried just to let the words fall from my lips and not think about them. If I didn’t think about them, then I wouldn’t feel them.

 

“When I first started teaching I taught high school. Teenagers are very emotional humans. There was this boy. He was troubled, but he wasn’t that troubled. He wrote this poem about death and dying. I thought about reporting it, but I didn’t. Then he was just gone. Afterwards, it was so obvious. I mean, there was no way not to see it, but I didn’t do anything. That makes it my fault.”

 

Edward didn’t say anything. He just squeezed my fingers. I squeezed back, and for a moment we weren’t alone.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, how are we all feeling? 
> 
> Thank you to my Kris for putting up with my craziness. Thank you to dizzygrl28 for her help too.


	17. Reboot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’ve been through some hard times, my friends. Let’s see where the kids go from here.

I had been a week since the wedding, and I was a wreck. Really, it was selfish of me to be so wrapped up in myself. Alice was getting better. She’d agreed to an inpatient stay at a mental health clinic. She was getting help. That should have been the most important thing. It should have been the only thing I cared about.

 

I was glad, of course, but I was also mad. I’d been trying to help her for years. Everything. I tried everything. I knew she was in a bad place, and I knew she could get better. She never listened. Not to me. Now she was getting the help she needed, and she wouldn’t let me be a part of that journey.

 

“Leave her the fuck alone,” Cynthia had said. “She doesn’t want anything to do with you. Let her heal in peace.”

 

Cynthia thought I was the bad guy. She thought I was the reason Alice was where she was.

 

Who knew. Maybe she was right.

 

But despite Alice’s wishes, I couldn’t let it go. Didn’t they understand? She needed me. She always had. No one else could know the things we knew. No one else had been there. How could she do this without me?

 

It was beginning to occur to me that maybe it wasn’t Alice who needed me. Maybe it was helping her keep it all together that had kept me from falling apart. And obviously, I’d done a piss poor job at that.

 

During the day, when the others were at work, I sat in the living room for hours on end going over everything from James’s death to what I would say to Alice if she ever answered her phone again. Hours could pass in the space of a minute. I was oblivious to everything. So when a warm, solid body deposited itself on my lap, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. I had just enough time to realize Bella had straddled me there on the couch before her lips were soft against mine.

 

There were a lot of reasons this shouldn’t be happening. Bella was supposed to be at work for one thing. And then just...how could she? When she knew about my past and how I couldn’t help Alice, how could she want to touch me like this? Why?

 

Luckily for me, my body knew exactly what to do. It was a kind of muscle memory, because this had happened so often in my fantasies. After the moment of initial surprise, my hands went to her back, splaying wide as I matched her kisses. They were soft at first, gentle explorations, testing to see how we fit. Her fingers threaded through my hair, sending shivers down my spine with every touch. None of it made my already incoherent thought process any clearer.

 

Our kiss broke and we panted at each other. Her look was soft, as tender as the stroke of her fingers. She brushed her lips against my forehead, and I closed my eyes. Her touch filled the cold, empty space inside me with warmth.

 

I opened my eyes again because I had to see her. There was no way this was going to last, and I wanted to savor every moment, count every freckle that peppered the bridge of her nose. She was beautiful, and I wanted to tell her so, but when I opened my mouth, that wasn’t what came out. “It’s not the same, you know,” I said instead.

 

She blinked at me, her hand faltering in my hair. “What?”

 

It took me a few seconds to figure out my own logic. I swallowed hard and dropped my gaze. I wound a finger through a strand of her hair. “You and that boy. What I did wasn’t the same.”

 

She slumped a little against me and crossed her arms behind my neck. “Edward.” She spoke between kisses to my brow and cheeks. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m trying to distract you.”

 

I sighed when her mouth found mine again. I kissed her back, but when our lips parted, I started babbling again. “It was one warning sign you missed. Just one.”

 

She hummed in response and kissed me again. I couldn’t help but taste her this time. She tilted her head, meeting my tongue with hers. I could get addicted to her flavor. I already was addicted.

 

Why couldn’t I live in this feeling? Pour it in a fish bowl and I would gladly swim around in  a tiny space if the water felt like this. I could have lived in it alone and been happy.

 

“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” I said when we came up for air. I was annoyed at myself, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “Teenagers are naturally angsty, and you had him what? An hour a day? Forty-five minutes?”

 

She framed my face with her hands and kissed me again. “Edward.” She began to move on my lap, pressing herself against me.

 

“I was…” My tongue was still moving. Why was it still moving when it could be better occupied with her mouth, her lips? I’m sure I could be more creative if I could only think clearly or not think at all. “I mean… Jesus, that’s...yeah.”

 

Bella dipped her head and whatever I was trying to say cut off in a whine as she dragged her teeth along my neck. “Fuck,” I said. My hips bucked up to meet hers. “I…” She felt incredible beneath my hands. “I…”

 

Oh, fuck. Nevermind, you idiot.

 

My hand to her cheek, I brought her face back up so I could kiss her properly. She moaned my name, and fuck if that wasn’t the hottest thing ever. My mind had finally cottoned on to the fact Bella was on my lap purposefully rubbing her pelvis against me. She was giving me permission not only to kiss her but to touch her.

 

My hands were up her shirt so fast, I thought I might as well have been an inexperienced middle school kid. No, I was pretty sure my thirteen-year-old incarnation was a little more subtle. But fuck it. I’d stopped trying to think.

 

Her skin felt so good, I quickly needed more. I tugged on her shirt, and we stopped kissing long enough for me to pull it off. Her back was smooth, her muscles flexed beneath my palms. She shivered as I traced the ridge of her spine with one fingertip. I used my nose to tilt her head back so I could kiss her throat. Meanwhile, my fingers made short work of the clasp of her bra, and I let my kisses trail down to rain on her nipples.

 

They were pink. And delicious. And I loved the way she gasped when I tugged on them with my teeth.

 

The way she was wiggling on my lap and the erotic noises she made had me so damn hard. Before I knew it, I’d pinned her horizontally beneath me. Before I could pull back to see if I’d gone too far, she was working my jeans down. I got behind that move really quickly, because fuck zippers.

 

We started at a slow rhythm, just rubbing my cloth-covered cock over her silky panties. Jesus God she was so warm. It was fuck-good. Being inside her was going to be the death of me. Her hands alone were making me pray to gods I didn’t even know existed. They were everywhere. On my back or caressing my ass. We kissed and nipped and licked as we moved together.

 

I was babbling again, this time about how sexy she was and how fantastic she felt and cC Christ, I’d wanted to do this for so long. She proved to be more of a moaner than a talker, which was fine by me.

 

She told me she wanted to see me come and I was gone. I liked to think I was the kind of guy who takes care of my girl first and foremost, but not then. She was in control, and what she wanted, she got. I came hard, and for the first time in a long time, my mind was a hundred and ten percent blank.

 

When my brain had rebooted I found I was collapsed on top of her, my head on her chest. She was tracing the shell of my ear, and I shuddered with the thrill of it going through my body. “Feel better?” she asked.

 

Slowly, as though I was moving through water, I raised my head. “Is that why you did it? So I could feel better?”

 

She rolled her eyes and ran the pad of her thumb over my lips. “It wasn’t the only reason.” I kissed her thumb and was rewarded with a gentle, oddly shy smile. “Mostly, though, I did it because I wanted to. With you.”

 

I shifted us until my back was against the couch and hers was against my chest. “I do feel better, I said, nuzzling her neck. “Not so tense.”

 

She turned in my arms and kissed me, a slow kiss, a good kiss. She pulled back and stroked my cheek in adoration. “Good.”

 

“Yes. Good.” And I was for the moment. Good. Calm. Even happy.

 

Closing my eyes, I lost myself in her kisses for just a little longer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was not beta’ed so I can’t blame anyone but myself for stupid errors. But a little lightheartedness, yes? Good? 
> 
> I mean… now he’s obligated to reciprocate, right? RIGHT?
> 
> Let us know how you’re doing.


	18. Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, we all liked that last chapter, yes? Well I think we need some fall out.

Edward’s eyes were closed, but his hands wouldn’t stop moving so I knew he wasn’t asleep. There was a soft smile on his face. I hadn’t seen that since before the wedding. It made me feel better to know that my distraction had worked.

 

Cocooned on the couch, time slipped by without us giving it a second thought. There was nothing that counting time would do for us anyway. There was the passing thought that we were both half naked in the living room and Emmett and Jasper could have come home at any second, but that was too much worry for the quiet moment.

 

There was another more pressing concern, however. Edward was tracing circles and swirls onto my lower back. It was a sweet, unconscious gesture. There was only one problem. I was ticklish, very ticklish, and it was taking everything in me not to squirm and giggle like a child.

 

Finally, after fighting for what felt like an eternity, I pressed myself closer to Edward, as if that were even possible, and giggled.

 

Edward’s fingers stilled in shock, but he was sharp. It wouldn’t take him long to figure out what the issue was.

 

“Are you ticklish?” he asked slowly, a hint of mischief in his voice. I liked that he felt content enough to tease me, but I knew when he acted on it it would be hell.

 

“No,” I lied.

 

Edward hummed. I could feel his large hand pressed against my back. Warmth seeped off his skin, raising goosebumps on my arms. He was quiet for too long. He was planning something, and the longer he planned the more nervous I got. Why had I decided to wake the beast?

 

Only when I was so hyper aware of every movement of his fingertips did he finally act. His arm slid around my waist and his fingers promptly dug into my ribs. I shrieked and grabbed his wrists, trying to pull him off. I was instead turned into jelly by the happy, bubbly feelings his fingers elicited. I tried to half-heartedly pull away from him, but only because that was how the game was played. The reality was that I never wanted to be away from him.

 

I laughed, still gripping his wrists, when the smooth, rich sound of his own laughter joined mine. It was a sound I didn’t hear very often, even less in the last week, and it was absolutely beautiful. I was spellbound by the music in his chuckle, and I didn’t realize that I had stopped fighting him.

 

“What?” He’d stopped laughing, and his eyes were wide and worried.

 

I traced the curve of his cheekbone, felt the rough stubble against my fingers. It had been too long since he’d shaved. “Your laugh is beautiful.”

 

He smiled softly. “Really?”

 

“You don’t sound like you believe me.”

 

“It’s not that.” He laughed again before leaning in to kiss me with a touch so soft I barely felt it. “It’s that I was thinking the same thing about you.”

 

I blushed. Well, blushed would be putting it mildly. I turned as red as a tomato. Edward chuckled and kissed me again. I forgot everything we were talking about and got lost in his kiss.

 

We were broken apart by the sound of a throat clearing.

 

“Well, kiddies, have fun?”

 

I screamed, suddenly very aware of what I was and, more importantly, wasn’t wearing.

 

“Emmett, you ass!” Edward handed me a shirt that had been tossed over the back of the couch while glaring at his brother who was leaning against the door frame. “How long have you been standing there?”

 

Emmett shrugged nonchalantly. “Long enough. I thought it was hilarious that you two didn’t even hear me open the door.”

 

“Well, you could have knocked.” Edward helped me pull my hair out of the shirt I’d just pulled on. I was dumbstruck for a moment when I realized the shirt smelled like him.

 

“It’s a public living room.” Emmett snickered sinking into the armchair across from them. “I didn’t think I had to. So, how was it?”

 

“None of your business, Emmett.” I knew Emmett was just looking for some fun, but if we didn’t cut him off now he would never stop. “Can we forget this even happened?”

 

Emmett waggled his eyebrows like a vaudeville villain. “Maybe. Maybe not. It’s gonna be up to Eddie here.”

 

“Emmett, I swear to fucking God.” Edward groaned.

 

“The fucking god huh?” I had never seen Emmett grin harder. “Is that like the god of tits and wine?”

 

Edward was so red by the point he was almost purple. “Why did we let you watch Game of Thrones?”

 

Emmett leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. He was looking down on us with baby blue eyes sparkling with amusement and no small amount of mischief. I briefly thought about making a run for my room when I realized what role he’d picked to play in this mess.

 

“So, Bella, considering how catatonic my brother has been this week, I have to assume this was your doing,” Emmett started in his best imitation of a fatherly voice. “Care to explain your intentions here?”

 

“Intentions?” I squeaked.

 

“Emmett,” Edward groaned.

 

“It’s a fair question.” Emmett was completely unruffled by our embarrassment. I think he kind of enjoyed it. “You can’t go doing that to a boy and not have an idea that you want more.”

 

“It was just a distraction and I think it worked very well.” I sounded a lot more confident than I felt.

 

The truth was that I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted. Well, that wasn’t true either. I wanted Edward. If I was being honest, I’d wanted him for quite sometime. Even after everything I’d learned about him and his past, I wanted him. More than just what we’d already done, more than what I hoped might come later. I had this silly fantasy that I both loved and hated about coming home to him everyday. About eating dinner with him, and watching TV, and laughing, and crying, and just everything, with him.

 

When had I become so sentimental?

 

Then there were his eyes. Emerald green, staring at me with a look somewhere between relief and despair. There was a kind of desperate hope and a bone-shattering fear warring deep with in them. I understood completely.

 

“Intentions.” Emmett cleared his throat and winked my direction. “A thing intended. An aim or a plan. So, Bella, what are your intentions?”

 

My intentions. My intentions. To fuck your brother. Yes, that was an intention but not one I was going to tell Emmett.

 

I bit my lower lip. Expressing my feelings had never been my best attribute, and then everything that had happened at the wedding and with Alice had just complicated matters. I didn’t want to make it worse, or put more pressure on Edward.

 

Sitting across from Emmett it was easy to believe that he was doing this to have a little fun, but, while he grinned and winked, there was seriousness in his eyes. He knew we were dancing around the issue and he was pushing us. I could have kissed him in that moment.

 

“I’m not entirely sure,” I said honestly. I didn’t look at Edward, uncertain as to what I would see. If I saw that he was hurting, I would do anything to make it better. I couldn’t afford that.

 

“I’m just trying to look out for my brother.” Emmett snickered. “He’s been through a lot you know.”

 

“This exact moment being perhaps the worst.” Edward groaned, burying his face in his hands.

 

“Yeah, don’t think I don’t see what you’re trying to hide there, Eddie boy. You at least took care of her first, right? I taught you that much at least.”

 

Okay. Now this was just becoming uncomfortable.

 

“I want to know your brother. I think he’s special. I think he’s brilliant.” I could feel myself blushing again, this time to a soft pink that spoke of an embarrassment that I kept the truth inside for so long. “I think my life would be less if I didn’t give this a chance.”

 

Emmett was speechless for the first time that I had ever seen. I didn’t look at him for long though before turning to Edward whose green eyes were wide with wonder. “Do you really mean it?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

 

Edward smiled, not widely, but it was the perfect smile of happiness. Nothing else. Just happy. “I feel the same way.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Yes I knew he hasn’t reciprocated yet. They needed to talk first. All in good time
> 
> Kris a/n: Uh huh. I know how this works. You just want ME to write the smut scenes. Pfffffft.
> 
> EDB: It was EMMETT’S FAULT! He would not be denied his fun.


	19. We've Been Waiting For That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Gah. Sorry about the wait on this one, kids. I didn’t have time to write at home and while I WILL write at work, I draw the line at writing...well… anyway, you’ll see..

Bella and I stared at each other like idiots for a whole minute before it finally clicked in my brain.

 

Bella liked me. Like she liked me.

 

What the fuck was I doing in our living room with my stupid ass brother?

 

I got up, grabbed her hand, and hauled ass out of there.

 

“Hey,” Emmett yelled after us. “Keep it down over there. Some of us don’t want nightmares.”

 

Now, I liked to think I was a gentleman. Yeah, I had casual sex here and there, but I liked to think I took care of my partner. I was a considerate guy, after all. But the facts weren’t really stacking up in my favor.

 

Bella had gotten me off, and even though she had let Emmett believe I’d done her proper, I hadn’t. Not to mention the fact the first thing I should have done after a confession like that was take her to my room to talk to her.

 

Yeah. Talk to her. That was exactly what would have happened in my room. But in my befuddled she likes me, she really likes me state we ended up in…

 

The bathroom?

 

“Why are we in the bathroom?” Bella asked, panting.

  
  


“Uh.” It was hard to concentrate. She was pressed up against the door, and I was pressed up against her. Christ. She had her leg hitched up between my legs. Rubbing. “Bella, god that’s good. I um… I was… I’m sticky. From before, and I thought… uh… Hell. I don’t know what I thought.” Right about then, I didn’t really care either. I was much more interested in dragging my teeth down her neck. She tasted good. I thought I could guess where she might taste better.

 

“Two birds one stone.” She threw her head back and gasped in this sweet little moan that drove me the rest of the way out of my mind. “You’re clever.”

 

Clever. Right then I wasn’t anything but hard and horny and…

 

She reached around me to grab my ass. “You know, it doesn’t take a shower to make me all wet for you,” she whispered in my ear.

 

I fucking loved this woman. And for more reasons than her filthy mouth. Reasons I probably should have talked to her about before I did depraved things in the shower with her.

 

That was exactly what I told her. Between kisses and nips to her shoulder. “We should… Talk… Before wet depravity.” Close enough.

 

“Agh. Look.” She took my face in her hands. Her cheeks were red and her breath heavy. “Let me fast forward to the most important.” Her eyes searched mine and she swallowed hard. “You want to be my boyfriend?”

 

I laughed. I had to. What was this? Fourth grade? But it was adorable and her. I took her hands and brought them down from my cheeks. I pressed my lips to her knuckles. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

 

“Good. And I want to be your girlfriend.” She smiled at me, a surprisingly gentle smile given the frantic nature of the last few minutes. “We got issues, Edward. I know it. You know it. We’ll deal with it. But first, sex.”

 

I leaned forward, drowning a moan against her skin. “You want me?”

 

“I do.”

 

I tugged on her leg, and she got the idea. With a little hop, she was wrapped around me. I pulled her away from the door, running my hands up and down her back as I kissed her. Somehow, we made it to the shower. I turned it on, and…

 

Look. Movies and porn would have you believe shower sex is simple. It’s not. Suffice it to say a few minutes later we were both fully clothed, soaking wet, and giggling like idiots, in a mess of tangled limbs on the bottom of the tub.

 

I stood up, bringing her with me, tossed her over my shoulder, and ran with her to my room. She gave a little scream, shouting my name in a breathy voice and peppering my ass with sharp smacks.

 

“Hey, hey, hey. You guys are going kinky at a pace I cannot keep up with,” Emmett shouted as he pulled up short to keep from running into us. “Keep it in your bedroom, for fuck’s sake.”

But

“Shut up, Emmett!” we both shouted before I had us inside my room with the door slamming behind me.

 

For me, happiness had always been fleeting. It was one of the reasons I had tried to resist the pull I felt toward Bella. The most I could ask was for her to be in my life. That should have been enough. Asking for more was asking for trouble, and I’d never been in love before. I wasn’t ashamed to admit I was scared. Bella was a finite resource, and once I let myself believe I could have her, I had the desire to consume her. Quickly. Get in as much as I could before I lost this, too.

 

But when the door was closed and she was standing in my room, wet and bedraggled and grinning at me, the world shrunk. Existence altered, and I felt like there was all the time in the world.

 

Wrapping one arm around her waist, I drew her toward me. As I kissed her, slow, savoring the way her lips pressed and moved against mine, I skimmed my fingers along her side. She shivered and whimpered, pushing up on her tiptoes to meet my kiss in full.

 

“Are you cold?” I murmured against her cheek as I kissed a line from her lips to her ear.

 

“Hmm? No.”

 

“You’re shivering.” For the second time that day, I found myself pulling her shirt off.

 

Yeah, I would never get over how beautiful she was.

 

I chafed her arms with my hands, pressing little kisses to the side of her mouth. She turned her head to catch my kiss. Her hands were all over me, caressing, tugging soaking wet cloth away from my body.

 

We pushed and tugged and pulled. When we were naked, I walked her backward so she was sitting on the bed. She scooted backward, and I crawled up with her. I leaned over her long enough to fish for a condom in my drawer--another reason it was probably good the shower sex idea went out the window.

 

She took the thing from me and rolled it on me, running her fingertips along my cock. “Bella. Bella, fuck, that’s so good.”

 

I nuzzled my nose against her neck, and she tilted her head back, giggling a little when I licked a line up her throat and moaning when I nipped at her skin. We were sitting upright, and I pulled her legs around me, opening her up to me. With one hand around her, stroking at her back right above the cleft of her ass, I used my free hand to guide myself inside her.

 

“You’re not cold now,” I said.

 

She shook her head, so close to me her hair brushed my face. “No,” she said with a sigh.

 

I tilted my forehead against hers as I rocked forward, taking me in deeper. I reached one hand back to keep us steady, rolling my hips to meet hers.

 

For the most part, we didn’t speak save for the occasional murmur of her name, mine, baby, yes. We moved together, our eyes open and on each other. It was intense, this connection. Like nothing I’d ever felt before. Her eyes were a reflection of mine, this overwhelming passion I felt for her right then. It was frightening. It left me vulnerable and needy, but good God. It was a greater pleasure than I’d ever thought possible.

 

We went slow at first, finding a rhythm that suited us. Exchanging kisses in between pants. But when it got down to that part--where there was no slowing our momentum, where I couldn’t be deep enough inside her, where her moans reached a fever pitch and my groans--I pushed her backward on the bed. She kept her legs locked tight around me, her ankles crossed behind my back, and lifted her hips to meet the fervent pace of my thrusts.

 

She came first with a shriek I think surprised us both. Her walls tightening around me kept me anchored, pulled me back in, and despite my shock, I followed her quickly.

 

And again, for the second time that day, I found myself draped over Bella, blissed out, my muscles and bones turned to jello.

 

It was better this time. Much better.

 

Bella’s fingers under my chin had the effect of focusing my attention. I let her lift my head and gave her what was likely the silliest expression in the history of silly expressions. I gave her a quick, playful kiss. “In case you’re wondering,” I said, “I’m well and truly distracted now.”

She started to smile but then put on a mock serious expression. “Oh, good. That was all I wanted.”

 

I rolled off her, but like I hoped, she followed me. Her fingers traced patterns on my chest. “That’s all, hmm?”

 

“Well.” She drew her finger up to tap on my chin and smiled, shy but intimate. “We’re compatible in bed. That’s a plus.”

 

“That is a plus,” I agreed.

  
She leaned down to kiss me, and I decided the other part of the inevitable conversation could still wait. Possibly forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to barburella and jessypt and ALL YOU LOVELY AUDIENCE MEMBERS. Ily all!


	20. Take Care of Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I am so sorry this took so long. Little longer than usual though. Will that make up for it?

Edward and I barely came out of his room, or my room, for a week. If we weren’t at work, or eating, we were behind locked doors where his idiot brother couldn’t bother us. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen Jasper. There was a part of my brain telling me that we were too close, that we ignoring our many issues, but for the moment I just didn’t care.

 

I was just getting home after work when the bubble burst. Edward and I had conflicting schedules so there was only about an half an hour we would get to spend together before he had to go to work.

 

He was sitting on the end of his bed, shoulders slumped, head in his hands, and fingers pulling softly at the ends of his hair. “Edward?” I rushed into the room and pulled his hands away so I could see his face. My stomach dropped and my heart hammered in my chest. I knew things had been going too well. “Edward, what’s wrong?”

 

“She still won’t talk to me.” All at once I was able to breathe again, which was terrible. Edward was still in pain, but I knew it didn’t have anything to do with me. He must have tried to call Alice again. I was just surprised it had taken so long.

 

I threw my arms around his shoulders and hid my face in his neck. Edward held on to my waist with a grip just shy of too tight. “I wasn’t going to call. I was trying to be patient and give her space like you guys keep telling me, but I hadn’t heard anything in a while, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

 

“And she wouldn’t talk to you.” I rubbed his back, feeling the tight muscles under his shirt.

 

“I did the right thing, didn’t I?” Edward’s voice was soft with uncertainty.

 

“Yeah, yeah you did.” I wanted to make Edward feel better. I hated that he was still punishing himself for this, but there were no quick answers or easy solutions for this. I didn’t know what to tell him that would make him feel any better. I didn’t even know if there was any making him feel better. “You did the right thing. Alice needed help and hopefully she’ll get that now. You did everything you should have done.”

 

“Then why doesn't it feel like it?”

 

“Because it feels like she blames you?”

 

“For what? For not letting her die. For not making her get help sooner? For not trying to die with her?”

 

I knew he was hurting and just lashing out, but his last sentence hit me like a punch in the gut. I was ashamed of the way my voice quivered as I asked, “You don’t really think that, do you?”

 

“Think what?” Then his face cleared as what I had asked and what he’d said took hold. “No. No. I didn’t mean that. Fuck.”

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly upset. I cleared my throat, struggling to rein my emotions back in. “I’m sorry. It’ll be okay.”

 

He gave me a small smile but I could tell he didn’t believe me. I supposed that was fair enough, but left me with nothing else to say. So, I tried to hold on a little tighter, thinking maybe if he felt me there it would be enough to keep him here.

 

I felt a soft kiss against the crown of my head. “I gotta get to work.”

 

I gave him one last squeeze and let him go. “Have fun.”

 

He snorted. “Yeah. Serving drinks all night to hopeless romantics and broken hearts. That’ll be fun.”

 

“I’ll try to stay up.”

 

“Don’t stay up. I’ll be home late.” He hesitated for just a second before bending to kiss my lips. “Thanks.”

 

“Anytime.” I smiled at him as he walked out the door.

 

Work was good for him. It kept him busy, but I missed him when he wasn’t here and I worried about him all the time. This was the downside to being with someone. The constant, gnawing fear that they wouldn’t be there the next moment, and that it would somehow would be your fault.

 

I shook myself, forcing shards of memories back into the closet they came from. I couldn’t sit around and worry either. Edward was just fine. I was just being paranoid.

 

The problem with skeletons in closets is that they like to come out. You can’t keep them hidden for long, and my skeleton had chosen that moment to torment me again. I could all too clearly remember the boy who sat in my classroom and was extremely brilliant. The last time I saw him he was walking out my classroom door, laughing and shoving his friends. By the next morning I’d learned that he had taken his own life.

 

Then there was Alice. I barely knew her, I’d met her a handful of times, but it was enough to see the deep sadness and pain that lurked in her eyes. She’d lost her fiance; the man that she’d fully intended to spend the rest of her life with.

 

My chest felt tight with a dull ache and I found it hard to breath. I crawled up the bed and buried my face in Edward’s pillow, but surrounding myself with the smell of him just seemed to make things worse.

 

Edward had lost a friend that day. In many ways he’d lost Alice, and maybe a little bit of himself as well. Since then, he’d spent most of his energy trying to keep Alice sane. In the process he’d let himself go. It was to easy to recall the sense of loss in his eyes tonight. The sag of his shoulders, and the sad smile on his lips when he left was an ever present image in my mind’s eye.

 

So much loss. So much pain. It all seemed to happen so quickly. One moment, one twisted broken, terrible moment and the whole world could shift. I thought of my young student, who had given no warning, and Alice, who was a textbook case. I thought of Edward so unhappy that sometimes I didn’t think he knew up from down.

 

In one moment, one second, everything could change. I didn’t want to lose Edward. A tear opened up in my heart, an echo of what that kind of loss would feel like it.

 

I didn’t know where all this was coming from. Edward was at work; he would be home late, but he would be home. I didn’t know where this insane fear was coming from, but it was rushing out and I couldn’t control it.

 

I had no good reason to be feeling this way. Edward knew what this kind of pain felt like. He wouldn’t want to inflict it on anyone else, especially not someone he loved.

 

“Bella?” I hadn’t even realized that I had been gasping for breath and wheezing until the voice startled me out of my thoughts and brought me somewhat back to reality. “Hey, are you okay?”

 

Jasper sat on the edge of the bed wide-eyed as I returned to normal breathing. With a sudden vehemence I didn’t know I possessed, I sat up and slapped his shoulder. “Where the hell have you been?”

 

He grimaced and leaned away as if I were a rattlesnake about bite. “What do you mean where have I been?”

 

“Edward needs you,” I nearly shouted. “He’s in a really bad place, and he needs his friends and you’ve been I don’t where. What the hell?”

 

“It’s okay. Edward and I have talked a couple times.”

 

“A couple of times? You think that’s acceptable? You need to be here.”

 

“Edward has you and Emmett. He’s…”

 

“Don’t say he’s fine.” My voice had become deep and throaty as I reached to slap him again. “You don’t get to say that he’s fine.”

 

“Bella.” He grabbed my shoulders, keeping me still and forcing me to look at him. “I’ve been with Alice.”

 

All the fight left me in a rush. “You’ve seen Alice?”

 

He nodded, grey eyes turned sad. “Yeah. I’ve been going to see her for a couple hours after I get off work.”

 

“How is she?”

 

“About as well you’d expect, maybe a little worse. They’ve still got her on a suicide watch and she’s angry.”

 

“At Edward?”

 

“At everybody.” Jasper sighed, and I realized he looked exhausted. There were dark smudges under his eyes, and he looked drawn and pale. “She needs a friend, Bella. Someone who can be objective with her. Cynthia is too young and you know Edward can’t do that.”

 

“He tried to call her today.”

 

“Yeah, she told me. She’s not ready yet.”

 

“You want the truth?” I asked shyly, uncertain whether I should admit this or not. Jasper nodded though. “I think this separation is good for them.”

 

“I think you’re right.” Jasper went on to tell me about the first time he visited her, how he shocked her more than anything. It was enough to get her guard down. Now the trips had become a daily thing, and he was the only person that she would talk willingly too. I was glad to know that she had someone, and Jasper was a good guy with a perceptive and kind heart. She couldn’t ask for a better friend.

 

“I’m sorry I hit you.”

 

“Don’t mention it. Are you okay though? You look stressed.”

 

“You can’t take care of everyone, Jasper.” I meant it as a joke to deflect the question, but I should have known that he would see through it.

 

“I can sure as hell try.”

 

Since Jasper was stubborn as hell and would never let it go, I admitted my fears to him. The more I told him, the more it rushed to get out of me. I admitted I was afraid Edward would get something into his head and do something drastic like Alice. I began talking so fast that I tripped over my words, and I wasn’t sure he understood half of it.

 

He pulled me into a hug. It wasn’t like when Edward would embrace me; almost too tight like he was was afraid I would just evaporate from his arms. Jasper was gentle and reassuring, and I felt my nerves began settle. “I meant what I said before. Edward has Emmett and, more importantly, he has you. You ground him. I can honestly say I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. And this thing you guys are in probably scares him as much as it scares you. You two should try to talk about before it gets too far and you've both built up a head of steam.”

 

“Thank you Dr. Jasper.” I snorted, but smiled my true thankfulness.

 

“Well, if I’m the doctor I have one more prescription then. Emmett and I are ordering a pizza and vegging out in front of the TV. Come on, you need a break.”

 

Surprisingly enough a night with Emmett and Jasper sounded just like what I needed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So am I forgiven?
> 
> Lots of thanks to Barburella and Stogster and to Kris for putting up with me.


	21. Unicorn WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, god. How is time passing like this? I protest. I apologize. I’ve been trying to get my ofic book ready for editing and… just. Sorry. Here’s the update!

Here was the thing--Bella made amazing cookies. Baked goods in general. She made a Mountain Dew cupcake with dorito crumbs in the frosting that tasted way better than it should have. But the cookies. Oh man.

 

Here was the other thing. We lived with Jasper and Emmett. They were bottomless pits. Well, I supposed if I was being honest, I didn’t exactly eat like a bird, but their habits could be a bit nauseating.

 

So when Bella baked, the food disappeared Tasmanian Devil style. Naturally, I was forced to take drastic measures. I liked to draw out my enjoyment, so I resorted to hiding food.

 

I was in the living room when I heard the telltale crinkle of foil coming not from the kitchen but from the hallway linen closet. “Oh, hell no.” I ditched my laptop and went running.

 

It wasn’t my brother or Jasper I found getting into my secret stash but my girlfriend. Even better. This was a fight I was sure I could win.

 

I grabbed her wrist just as she got her hands on a cookie. “Hands off, Swan. That doesn’t belong to you.”

 

“Excuse me?” She turned in my arms, effectively hiding the cookies from me. “Did you make these?”

 

I tried to grab around her, but she feinted to the side, blocking me. “Of course I didn’t make them. There’s only one person on this planet who would think of making a cookie called Unicorn Poop.”

 

“First of all, seeing as I got the recipe from someone on Twitter, I’m pretty sure there are more people on the planet who’ve made it, specifically those the ones who created it.”

 

“Sick minds.” I grabbed her around the waist and tickled without mercy. She shrieked and giggled, but she got her hands on the cookies and ducked away. “It has Poop in the name.”

 

Unicorn Poop cookies were made of sugar cookie dough dyed into a rainbow of colors, twisted together into a poop formation, and sprinkled with all sorts of colorful, edible bits.

 

“Which brings me to my second point.” She danced backward, out of my reach again. “If you think it’s so wrong and gross, why the hell are you trying to get at them?’ And I’m going to assume you’re the one who hid them in the closet in the first place.”

 

“You know how insecure a man’s masculinity is. I see something with sparkles, I have to destroy it.”

 

“The sparkles are sugar crystals, genius.” She yelped, darting around me when I lunged at her.

 

“Dammit, Bella. Give me my cookies. I’ve been looking forward to eating one all day.”

 

“Finders keepers, and they weren’t yours to take.”

 

Grab, dodge. Grab, dodge. I considered tackling her, but then all we’d have was rainbow cookie crumbs all over the place. “I worked hard on those cookies.”

 

“Uh, hello? I baked them, asshat.”

 

“Give me some credit. Emmett is like a bloodhound, and I managed to keep them hidden from him. I’ve earned them.”

 

“They weren’t yours. I put them out for everyone.”

 

“Give me. Those. Cookies.” This time, I did tackle her. She squealed and almost got away. Off balance, we toppled right over the back of the couch, bounced off the cushions and landed in a heap of laughter on the floor.

 

“Ugh, you brute. I’m going to have bruises.” She’d lost the cookies along the way and started smacking me--not for reals--about my face and chest. “No one’s going to believe I’m not a victim of domestic abuse.”

 

I grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the floor above her head. “Says you with the sharp elbows.”

 

She was wiggling beneath me. It was distracting. What the heck were we fighting about?

 

I remembered this. I remembered running into her in the hallway, her panties flying everywhere and her wet, naked body on top of mine. It wasn’t that long ago this woman was an off-kilter stranger. My home was my only peaceful place, and I’d been so sure she would ruin that.

 

She had, in a way. My home wasn’t peaceful anymore. But God. Good God.

 

I leaned in to kiss her--a slow kiss as I rolled my hips into hers, pinning her flat. She huffed into my mouth--I was probably squishing her--but she kissed me back. She tilted her head up, her lips and tongue moving with mine.

 

Her arms had long ago gone pliant under my grip, but I didn’t dare let go. She was a tricky one. She could sense weakness. I shifted her hands until I could grip both wrists in one of my hands, and I snaked the other down her body, along her thigh, encouraging her to wrap her leg around my waist.

 

She did, and that, of course, was when I heard my brother’s, “Holy shit, man. Come on.”

 

I lifted my head to glare at Emmett. He held his hands up. “Really? Jasper and I are both in the house, and you are in the living room on top of your girlfriend, and you’re giving me the how-dare-you-cock-block look. I don’t…. are those cookies?”

 

By that time, I’d gotten to my feet. I helped Bella to her knees, and then lifted her right off her feet, throwing her over my shoulder. “Edward!”

 

“Hey, hey. Again with the caveman business? Is that the only move you know?”

 

“He’s a brute, Emmett,” Bella shouted as I headed toward my room. “He was beating me up a minute ago.”

 

“You cruising for a bruising, little brother?”

 

“Eat shit,” I said. I’d have flipped him the bird, but my hands were full of wiggling, giggling female.

 

Emmett lifted his Unicorn Poop cookie in salute. “I’m working on it.”

 

I kicked my door shut behind me and tossed Bella on the bed. I crawled over her and kissed her. Once. Twice. Again. “You made me cookies once, remember? Me. Just for me.” I dragged my teeth down her neck, nipping so she squeaked.

 

“Because you were being an asshole.” She threaded her fingers through my hair, tugging when I bit her.

 

“I’m not being an asshole now.”

 

“Hey, you’re the one who left the cookies out there. You could have fought for them. I was going to let you win.”

 

Propping myself on one arm, I cupped her cheek with my free hand. “Sweetheart, I’m already there.”

 

Maybe an hour later we were covered in hickeys, and I was tired. Beside me, Bella was sprawled on her back, fast asleep; the picture of a well and truly satisfied woman. I done right by her and then some. Her hair was as rumpled as my bedding, her lips well and thoroughly kissed, and there were reddened bite marks around her breasts.

 

Well, I had been hungry.

 

Since it was almost time for work, I had to force myself into an upright position. Bella didn’t stir as I went about the room, and she still hadn’t awakened when I came back from a shower.

 

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked down on her.

 

I was happy.

 

The thought struck me out of nowhere, and it knocked the breath from my body.

 

Yes, of course I knew she made me happy. She made me stupid, too, but this was different from all that. It wasn’t just a momentary thing, it was a state of being, and one I hadn’t experienced since my freshman year of college. That was before I disappointed my father. Before James. Before Alice.

 

I was so happy. With Bella. With life in general. It wasn’t perfect, of course. I was still worried about Alice, and there were a lot of things I had to figure out. But even that was a revelation. It had been a long time since I’d thought about the future.

 

When had I started again?

 

Happy and hopeful. It was…

 

Well, it was a little scary.

 

Bella gave a soft snort in her sleep and nuzzled into my hand.

  
Well. For her, I'd figure myself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: SO. The end is in sight. Idk how many chapters coz, you know, these kids are unpredictable, and Bella (EveryDayBella) is unpredictable and me? My brain is weird. SO WHATEVER (can we tell I’m hyper today?)
> 
> So both the desserts mention do exist and are google-able. I did actually get the unicorn poop cookies from Twitter. From Cris to be precise. Idk who told me about Mountain dew cupcakes and frosting but … I mean, I’m so curious.
> 
> Thanks to songster and barburella and all y’all for being so patient!! Much heart.


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